Ain’t that the truth

You know how I was in love with Heartburn earlier in the week.

There’s a part I can’t get out of my head. It goes like this: “Is this inevitable, this moment when everything leads to irritation, when you become furious that he smokes, or that he coughs in the morning, or that he sheds crumbs, or that he exaggerates, or that he drives like a maniac, or that he says “Between you and I”? You fall in love with someone, and part of what you love about him are the differences between you; and then you get married and the differences start to drive you crazy. You fall in love with someone and you say to yourself, oh, well, I never really cared about politics, bridge, French and tennis; and then you get married and it starts to drive you crazy that you’re married to someone who doesn’t even know who’s running for President.”

And I keep wondering what it was about me that was so irritating. Relax, this isn’t some crippled self-esteem sob-fest: there were PLENTY of things about him that irritated the crap out of me. Buy me a couple of pinot grigios and I’ll happily vent … now there’s an offer that’s easy to refuse …

No, I’m just curious about final straws that break camels’ backs.

So I’ve compiled a list of my potentially infuriating pecadillos:

• I can’t focus on a word anyone says in a restaurant until after we’ve ordered
• The moment we’ve ordered I panic that I’ve chosen the wrong thing
• I vibrate with stress about being late to the airport even when there are hours to spare
• I’d rather go on “easy” holidays to places like Hawaii than Angkor Wat
• I ache for a swimming pool, despite not being terribly fond of the water
• I’m obsessed with domain.com.au
• I pick at the skin beside my fingernails and pluck at stray hairs
• I prefer movies to theatre
• I usually choose mainstream movies over an art-house ones
• I don’t want to dissect movies after I’ve seen them, I simply like them or I don’t like them … or they were “OK”
• I don’t read Pulitzer Prize winning novels all that often (I’m not a total philistine, one of my favourite authors is AS Byatt)
• I’m a teensy bit addicted to social media
• I collect celebrity social media pictures like they’re valuable stamps
• I love my crazy dog even though he poops and wees on the carpet/my doona/everywhere really
• I thought it was hilarious having a bunny recline on our living room rug (until he ate through $800 in electrical appliance cabling)
• I’m not very good at playing with kids, even my own
• I don’t get the appeal of electronic games
• I’m hopeless at telephone conversations
• I’m not interested in politics (case in point: last night Husband dropped the kids off and went all goggle-eyed about the “BOF” news … fortunately I’d glimpsed something on Facebook and could quip “Oh, THAT bottle of Grange …” but I suspect he saw through my ruse.)
• I have trouble staying up past 9.30pm at night or sleeping past 6am in the morning
• I adore shopping (especially in Hawaii)
• I’ve been known to go to the bathroom 3 times in the night … especially if there’s been tea involved before bedtime
• I hide in the bathroom and read my iPad
• I love cute animal memes/videos/stories/photo round-ups
• I’m constantly dreaming up crazy business ideas
• I moan and whine about work
• I’m terrible with confrontation

And then there’s the whole Intellectual And The Gossip thing.

Oh, I could go on and on … it’s a bit scary once you start … so I’ll stop … and pray no-one on RSVP Googles Alana House and arrives here … Not that I’m on RSVP … But heck, it’s early days … I AM going to The Oaks tonight for the very first time … is that a pick-up joint??

Is there anything you do that irritates your partner? Or infuriates you about them??

Song of the day: Pink “So What”

or should it be …

The Angels “She keeps no secrets”?