Going postal


I yelled a lot at a stranger yesterday. I’m not proud of it, but it was one of those WTF moments where you just can’t help yourself.

Bloody Australia Post. Don’t they realise they’re teetering on extinction? You’d think they’d at least try to keep it modern.

Just a few days ago, Canada Post announced it’s phasing out home delivery. According to The Economist (Husband would be so proud):

Canada Post has been hit by a familiar story: rising electronic communication and declining volumes of letters. The decline did not start until 2007 but has picked up astonishing speed, with 1 billion fewer letters delivered in 2012 than in 2006. Canada is the first of the Group of Seven countries to signal the end of home delivery but it will almost certainly not be the last. Globally, the volume of letters posted has been sliding for a decade, dropping by 4.7% between 2011 and 2012 to 346.5bn items; a further 4% global decline is expected this year.

Admittedly, this is a little more traumatic for Canadians than Australians because it means the disabled, the feeble and the pissed off who will be walking in up to -40 degree temperatures in winter to get their mail.

But anyways … there was a knock at the door yesterday afternoon. I’d been told by Husband my Christmas present was being delivered. So I eagerly dashed down the stairs, opened the door and took the box the bloke was proferring.

He snatched it back and demanded to know where Husband was. Husband was at work. But I was his wife, shouldn’t that suffice?

No. That didn’t suffice.

So he wouldn’t give it to me. He said he could only give it to Husband. Unless Husband was standing there on a Tuesday afternoon at 2.30pm in possession of his driver’s licence, no dice.

Fark that.

I said I could show him Husband’s passport. Nope, that wouldn’t cut it. HUSBAND had to show him Husband’s passport.

And that’s when I started yelling and slamming doors, then opening them again and storming out to give him another piece of my mind. And then chasing the dog up and down the street when he escaped and thought it was jolly sport to play tip with me for the next five hysterical minutes while the Australia Post employee hated on me and wrote a “we’re sorry we missed you” card.

They didn’t freaking MISS me. I was freaking THERE.

I eventually conceded that I was sorry and I knew it wasn’t his fault. But for FARK’S SAKE.

Because when you don’t get your parcel from Australia Post on your doorstep, despite standing RIGHT THERE to receive it, because of some stupid rule you have to drive two suburbs away to some stupid Australia Post depot to get it. And then stand in a queue with 20 other annoyed customers for 20 minutes waiting for them to scrabble around searching for it.


E-commerce is doomed in Australia if that’s the best you can do.


PS And then I called Husband and yelled at him for good measure about the idiocy of it. He’ll start avoiding my calls again soon.

Had any annoying experiences of your own with your local postal service lately? 


10 thoughts on “Going postal

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  1. Oh my God, you have hit the spot today! I have been picking up parcels for my parents for 4 years, the staff know me by name and they chose yesterday when the queue was out the door to ask/interrogate me about a ‘standing order form’ allowing me to pick up. Something they could have told me 4 YEARS AGO instead of making me look like a criminal in front of a packed house.

    And I can’t stand seeing pensioners who can hardly walk having to stand in a queue for half an hour. Get a grab a number, sit down system in place already.

  2. Oh that sounds totally idiot.I also had an annoying moment yesterday. Tried to apply for The Flashes Aussie passport at the embassy. When they first told me that they would be ringing Husband for permission to get it, they actually meant that he was meant to come in and get his signature witnessed. So we went in and did it. Then we got a call in the afternoon that he would have to come in a again because his signature hadn’t been close enough to the original signature. Big hmm mph!

  3. I read somewhere recently that Australia Post is setting up Parcel Lockers at 7-11 Stores to allow 24 hour pick-ups. Or was I imagining such a sensible plan…?

  4. I don’t like the way AP has farmed its services out to the lowest bidder (and lowest service level) but I do understand why they have this delivery stance. Security. There’s nothing to say you were the legal recipient – I could turn up and pretend to be husband and grab the package, say. (Which is probably a terrifying thought for everyone, including AP.) That’s why the cards have agent spaces on the back if you miss them – so there’s a paper trail releasing them from losses. I know I’d be pissed if some of the tech stuff I’d had sent by mail was just handed out to someone who’s not the addressee.

    Also, the person delivering is most likely a contracted deliverer, if it came in an econovan. They tend to want to stick by the rules as not doing so could result in the run being yanked from them.

    (You’re probably lucky that you had an actual parcel delivery. They mostly card these days rather than take the actual item, particularly if expensive.)

    They do have parcel lockers going in around the place, though. They’d be a better option if you regularly receive stuff. I have a lot going to the work PO Box, and never have any trouble having them grabbed by someone else.


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