My week: vanity is a curse

As you read this I’m swanning around in the Hunter Valley celebrating a friend’s birthday. She’s hired an awesome house and invited us along for a mini party. There’s Verve and everything. Very posh.

Getting here was a bit of a panic. Last week was MAD. I seriously felt a bit nervous breakdowny on Thursday night at 9pm as I iced cupcakes for Crazy Cupcake Day (below) at the kids’ school, raced around packing and tried to restore order to the house because my parents were dropping in for a bit of dog-sitting on Saturday.

Photo: M&Ms really are god's gift to cupcake making #crazycupcakeday

Deep breaths! Deep breaths!

I also confessed on the ivillage Facebook page on Friday morning: “I’m going away this weekend to a place with a pool, but I’m thinking about “forgetting” to pack my cossie and just dipping my toes in the water to cool off instead. Are you swimsuit phobic like me? – Alana xxx”

And BOY did I cop it.

Nina wrote: “Thats ridiculous. Nobody else cares or is even looking, what about the 80 + yr olds you see wearing a cosy proudly. I personally have daughters and would never ever want them to think I wasn’t swimming cause I was embarrased by my body. Its so hot here anyway you can easily get away with wearing a rashie if you want but not swimming at all is very sad.”

Coralie wrote: “Alana, I’m horrified… Why would you even care. Get yourself a nice pair of togs and swim till your all pruney. Get amongst it girl”

And Keli wrote: “All the self hate makes me sad.”

So I was filled with a different sort of shame and packed the bloody thing.

But the pool was bloody frigid. So it never got a look in.

Such is life.

The rest of the week went like this …

IMG-20131102-02708

>>I blogged about visiting a fair filled with rich hippies where I was landed with a box of these squirmy things. Read more here. 

damien-oliver (1)

>> I revealed my Anti-Glamour Guide to the Melbourne Cup.

IMG-20131106-02754

>> I shared lots of pretty pics from our annual visit to Sculpture By The Sea. See them here. 

wee-tree

>> And I reminisced about the time I was Caught Short walking home from a school parents’ dinner and was forced to wee behind a tree.

Meanwhile, over at iVillage …

lipstick-meme

I loved this meme

I got slammed for this ….

Photo: Should little boys be banned from women's change rooms? This school says yes: http://bit.ly/HyLfyQ

>> Should little boys be banned from women’s change rooms? This school says yes: http://bit.ly/HyLfyQ

I was outraged by this …

Photo: 'Why I ignore stay-at-home dads in the playground' >> http://bit.ly/1bby2p9

>> ‘Why I ignore stay-at-home dads in the playground’ >>http://bit.ly/1bby2p9

And this …

Photo: Can a woman really 'steal' your husband? The website that names and shames 'home wreckers' >> http://bit.ly/HAs4oK

>> Can a woman really ‘steal’ your husband? The website that names and shames ‘home wreckers’ >> http://bit.ly/HAs4oK

My boss thought I was on drugs when I published this …

Photo: The latest global warming map has been released. Will your house go under water? Click here to see >> http://bit.ly/HyIAVS

>> The latest global warming map has been released. Will your house go under water? Click here to see >> http://bit.ly/HyIAVS

People were adamant we shouldn’t have published this …

Photo: The most disturbing and heartbreaking celebrity child custody letter you'll ever read >> http://bit.ly/HylJKn

>> The most disturbing and heartbreaking celebrity child custody letter you’ll ever read >> http://bit.ly/HylJKn

This made me laugh …

Photo: We're a teensy bit obsessed with Glowy Zoey at iVillage. Watch this video and you will be too >> http://bit.ly/1aSb4S2

>> We’re a teensy bit obsessed with Glowy Zoey at iVillage. Watch this video and you will be too >> http://bit.ly/1aSb4S2

So did this …

Photo: Reservoir Dad writes: "I am OVER peeling urine-stained socks off my feet" >> http://bit.ly/1hL7vnj

>> Reservoir Dad writes: “I am OVER peeling urine-stained socks off my feet” >> http://bit.ly/1hL7vnj

I found this incredibly moving …

Photo: The truth about my baby I was too scared to face: http://bit.ly/1hhS6gr

>> The truth about my baby I was too scared to face:http://bit.ly/1hhS6gr

And this …

Photo: They married for better or worse. Little did they know how soon their vows would be tested. Click and prepare to weep: http://bit.ly/Hsn8Sp

>> They married for better or worse. Little did they know how soon their vows would be tested. Click and prepare to weep:http://bit.ly/Hsn8Sp

This was pretty confronting …

Photo: She was held hostage in a filthy Cleveland basement for 10 years, now Michelle Knight has revealed to Dr Phil that the only thing that kept her alive was the hope she’d see her son again. Moving details here >> http://bit.ly/1dIDl1f

>> She was held hostage in a filthy Cleveland basement for 10 years, now Michelle Knight has revealed to Dr Phil that the only thing that kept her alive was the hope she’d see her son again. Moving details here >> http://bit.ly/1dIDl1f

Speaking of confronting …

Photo: Meet the 51-year-old Aussie mum still breastfeeding her five-year-old: http://bit.ly/1cyyLWi

>> Meet the 51-year-old Aussie mum still breastfeeding her five-year-old: http://bit.ly/1cyyLWi

And this was adorable …

Photo: Time for your daily dose of cute: Queen Elizabeth has owned over 30 corgis throughout her reign, and after watching this video you'll understand why >> http://bit.ly/1cyCW4l (SP)

Time for your daily dose of cute: Queen Elizabeth has owned over 30 corgis throughout her reign, and after watching this video you’ll understand why >> http://bit.ly/1cyCW4l

How was your week?

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