Going on my history, you’re probably thinking I’ve lost another job. But no, it’s a domestic crisis this time.
Remember how I made clucky Henny Penny an instant mummy by slipping four chicks under her one night? (No? Then click here for a catch-up.)
Well, those chicks have grown and grown and the one called Midget – ironically – is now almost as big as his foster mummy and has taken to making strangled er-erer-ERRRR noises in the mornings.
At least I think it’s Midget. Also making strangled er-erer-ERRRR noises is Schnitzel. Schnitzel is the smaller black on in the blurry photo (I prefer to think of it as arty). Schnitzel likes sitting on the fence to practise his crowing.
In the short term, this means apologising to the neighbours for the early-morning wake up calls and promising that we will deal with the problem.
In the long term it means re-housing our feathered friends to the country.
Except no-one wants roosters, especially mongrel cross-bred roosters.
Husband keeps offering to wring their necks, but I don’t think he’s actually got the heart to do it. We have a friend who did it once, then felt he should eat the rooster for sustainability reasons, so roasted it up and choked it down while the rest of the family sat in the living room threatening never to speak to him again.
A nice intern at work who grew up on a farm suggested cutting their heads off, then watching them run around the backyard afterwards. I think she was joking. I hope she was joking. I’d find it rather upsetting to see Midget and Schnitzel headless.
So I think I’ll make them party bag extras for my nieces – who live semi-rurally – when they come to Sprog 2’s birthday party in a few weeks. Here are your chick goodie bags girls, with bonus roosters – cheers!
OK, I might have to run that past my sister-in-law first.
She’s not going to be thrilled since she had to relocate my last two roosters.
I really need to get 100 per cent money-back guaranteed sexed chicks next time. I just don’t need the extra angst in my life.
housegoeshome 
Uh oh!
Uh oh is right.