Revenge is a dish best served cold, whatever that means. According to The Urban Dictionary it’s an old saying from the Mafiosi in Sicily: “The best payback is the one that comes with planning, and that brings the most horrendous pain to your enemies when they are not expecting and are just enjoying the fruits of all the dishonor they brought upon you. One must wait so he can really inflict pain to those who wronged him. Careful planing is necessary so your enemies will suffer terribly, but you won’t be harmed by the Law or by your enemies’ allies.”
Deliciously brutal.
Generally, however, famous sayings about revenge suggest it’s a bad idea.
“In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy, but in passing it over he is superior.” Francis Bacon
“He that has revenge in his power, and does not use it, is the greater man.” Wellins Calcott
“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Those who plot the destruction of others often perish in the attempt.” Thomas Moore
I could go on, but I think you’ve read enough quotations from me for one week.
I’ve never been particularly good at holding a grudge. I can’t sustain the anger. I’ve seen too many people eaten away by bitterness. I prefer to let karma sort things out. It usually does, it just takes a while sometimes.
Where my children are concerned, however, it’s slight my babies at your peril … in theory. In practice I’m a complete wuss at that too. (There’s also the small issue of me having once told them that “nothing would make me prouder than they tried to always be kind”.)
Last week, one of Sprog 1’s classmates told her she was dumped from their school talent quest group because “I like so-and-so more than you”. I wasn’t in a great place when I heard that joyous news, so I started plotting payback. I wondered whether, when the classmate arrived at Sprog 1’s birthday, I should tell her how thrilled Sprog 1 was to be included in the talent quest group and that I couldn’t wait to tell her mum how nice she’d been to my daughter … then watch her wilt over the next three hours.
Of course, I didn’t … because Husband wouldn’t let me … oh, and because it would have been wrong. The kid’s only nine, it’s not really fair for an emotionally overwrought grown-up to torture her like that.
Geez the mind games girls play drive me crazy. And we never seem to grow out of them.
Why are women each other’s worst enemies sometimes? We should stick together rather than tear each other apart.
That’s what feminism should be about, not just equality between the sexes, but treating our sisters with respect too.
So, no revenge served cold for me this week. I’m turning the other cheek. I am being patient. I’m waiting for karma to sort things out. I have this feeling in my waters that something wonderful and huge and good and right is going to happen.
Bring it on.
housegoeshome 