HouseGoesHollywood: Chateau Marmont bans LiLo, Chris gets married in a onesie, Bigfoot killed

LiLo dodges one scandal, scores another

Lindsay Lohan has escaped prosecution after being implicated in the theft of $100,000 worth of watches and trinkets from the home of a millionaire friend.

E! News reports: “The Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office just told E! News that no charges will be filed … “We do not have sufficient evidence to prove this case beyond a reasonable doubt,” prosecutors said.

“One of the suspects makes a vague admission that he and the others were there, and that ‘someone’ took something but is not more specific than that,” the evaluation continued. “The fact that our suspects are found in a car that is similar to the one seen at the time of the burglary adds little to the case. In addition to these evidentiary insufficiencies, the [victims] do not wish to pursue the prosecution of this matter.”

Sam Magid, the owner of the home where the theft allegedly occurred, did an about-face after filing his initial report, ultimately telling police that nothing was taken and further complicating any attempt to prosecute someone for stealing.

“If he says nothing was taken, then how do you prosecute?” criminal defense attorney Troy Slaten, who has no affiliation with Lohan, tells E! News. “This is pretty weak with the victim saying nothing was stolen. I don’t see how you proceed at all if the victim says was nothing was taken.”

Meanwhile TMZ is reporting Lindsay has been black banned by the Chateau Marmont hotel because of outstanding bills totalling $46,350.04.

“TMZ has obtained a letter from the General Manager of the hotel where John Belushi infamously OD’d … The GM notes the hotel repeatedly requested payment for the 47 days Lindsay stayed there during the months of June and July … but LiLo never anted up.

“Lindsay – who had been living at the hotel – was ordered to get her stuff out by 12 PM August 1.  She was then banned from the entire property.”

Her charges included a restaurant meal of $1992.07, a room service bill the same day of $685.96, and $3145.07 on the minibar.

As Lainey Gossip says:  “That’s a lot of macadamia nuts for someone who often claims not to drink.”

Conjoined twins reality show premieres

Conjoined twins Abby and Brittany Hensel are the stars of a new eight-episode reality series, Abby & Brittany, which premiered in the United States on Tuesday.

Says Popwatch: I’d call this show “mundanely fascinating.” I’m not sure if we’ll get into heavier subject material later on, but much of the action in the first two episodes involved shopping for groceries and shopping for clothes. Believe it or not, that seemed like enough for now. Through voiceovers, we learn that the point of the series is to present “our normal, regular life.” I learned more from watching them navigate simple moves — eating chicken wings, riding a bike, hugging (which side???) — and hearing from their fun-loving, delightfully Minnesotan group of college girlfriends than I might have learned during an entire season of a typical reality show. It’s about basic humanity, and I didn’t find it exploitative in the slightest. And it made me think a LOT.”

Obama cover outrage

Spain’s Fuera de Serie magazine has stirred up controversy with its latest cover, which features an image of Michelle Obama as a topless slave from the “Famous Nudes” series by artist Karine Percheron-Daniels.

“By choosing to use such a jarring image to tell the story of how America’s first lady “seduced the people of the United States” and “stole the heart of Barack Obama,” as Fuera de Serie describes her,” says Brande Victorian at the website Madame Noire, “it’s clear the magazine agrees with that mentality and wants to spread the message loud and clear: todavía estamos esclavos. We are still slaves.”

Taken from the “Famous Nudes” series done by artist Karine Percheron-Daniels, the painting was created by superimposing Obama’s face onto the body of the Black enslaved woman shown in the 1800 “Portrait d’une négresse” by French artist Marie-Guillemine Benoist.

Says The Huffington Post: “Clearly provoked by the sight of Obama showcased as an enslaved woman, the black blogosphere has waged a digital war against the cover, claiming that the image is nothing short of blatantly racist propaganda.’

Bigfoot killed

OK, I know this isn’t a Hollywood story, but it’s just too weird to ignore. People magazine is reporting that a man staging a Bigfoot sighting has been struck and killed by two cars on a highway in Montana.

“Randy Lee Tenley, 44, of Kalispell, Mont., was pronounced dead at the scene near Flathead Lake in northwestern Montana after the stunt late Sunday night.

“This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen. Really,” Montana Highway Patrol Lt. Col. Butch Huseby tells the Los Angeles Times.

Tenley had donned a Ghillie camouflage suit covered in thick foliage-like material that’s used by hunters and military snipers and dashed onto the two-lane road around 10:30 p.m. Two cars, both driven by teenage females, slammed into him. ”

Yes, there are photos (not of the crash, fortunately). Check them out here.

Gossip Girl star in custody battle

TMZ is reporting that a judge has ruled Gossip Girl star Kelly Rutherford’s ex-husband can keep their two children in France, where he is living.

“Kelly was fighting to bring her kids back to the U.S.  Her ex, Daniel Giersch, lives in France and can’t come back to the U.S. because his visa has been revoked.

“The judge ruled Kelly has a flexible schedule and can go back and forth to France to spend time with her kids.  The court gave Kelly the right to have the children — ages 5 and 3  — 50% of the time.

“But Kelly doesn’t see it that way.  Sources tell us she believes it’s virtually impossible now for her to spend meaningful time with the kids, given the enormous travel commitments that would be involved.

“We’re told Kelly plans to appeal the ruling.”

Prince Harry’s vodka bender exposed

US Weekly’s cover story on Prince Harry proclaims: “The 27-year-old redhead “had two things in his sights: vodka and women,” fellow Vegas partier Melissa Vagner tells the new US Weekly, out now, which has all of the jaw-dropping details on Harry’s wild weekend.

“Adds another woman who partied with Prince William‘s little brother: “He was naked for a long time at the party . . . He didn’t seem to care what he did.”

Hot pics & clicks

* I am LOVING The Sapphires‘ star Chris O’Dowd’s wedding photo, which he’s posted on Twitter. The lucky woman is Dawn Porter, a television presenter.

* Elton John‘s ring is bigger than his watch!

* Kim Kardashian hints she’s getting married with this Instagram shot captioned “Late night fitting #pucci”

* First look at Snooki‘s new baby.

* Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger are finally starring in a movie together, 25 years after 9 & 1/2 Weeks.

* Rosie O’Donnell has posted a pic of herself and her new wife, Michelle Rounds, on Twitter and captioned it “so in love”. She also gave followers an update on her health after her heart attack, ‘Just saw my doctor – all is well – on we go!!!’

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