“The wife may roll her eyes and mutter something about “man flu” but what would she know? She’s not a man and her sort of flu is milder, quieter and shorter-lived. This is proper flu, and now the stats support it.”
So says the Sydney Morning Herald, which quotes a recent study by GlaxoSmithKline of 1500 married or de facto Australian men, aged between 25 and 64, that found 66 per cent of them said it existed.
“Is any more proof needed? Well, 49 per cent of the men surveyed said they had suffered from man flu in the past. And their man flu took, on average, 5.9 days of lying in bed, compared with the 4.9 days it took to fully recover from a bout of lady flu.”
That was a survey by a drug company – which has something to gain by classifying man flu as a genuine illness – but a study by scientists at the University of Queensland has also found that female volunteers had a “much stronger immune response” to rhinoviruses — the bugs that usually cause the common cold — than men.
The protection vanished after the menopause, suggesting it was regulated by female sex hormones. The University of Queensland’s Professor John Upham said: “It makes sense from a biological point of view because women are more likely to ensure the survival of the species.”
Back to the GlaxoSmithKline survey via the SMH: “Men in Queensland are the most susceptible in Australia [to man flu] … 33% per cent of women in the sunshine state said that men had a slower rate of recovery from flu than women, compared with a national average of 25 per cent. Men in New South Wales had the lowest rate of man flu, with only 19 per cent of female respondents citing slower recovery rates.”
Tell that to Husband, who’s been suffering an interminable bout of it.
I think all the jokes about man flu are a bit harsh, which is oddly empathetic of me. The poor buggers are genuinely sick. The problem is they’re not very good patients.
Husband, for example, has been extremely prickly, cross and generally unpleasant while suffering his latest bout of the dreaded. Last week, I kept asking when he thought he’d be well enough to go back to work so I didn’t have to put up with his grouchiness.
Man flu also screwed up my plans for the weekend. I had a hectic schedule planned. We were driving to Newcastle to visit the famous Olive Tree Markets, where I’d promised the Sprogs they would finally get their crochetted mice. Then my mother was going to buy us lunch. Then we were heading north to spend the night with the Sprogs’ cousins.
I was pathetically excited about it all.
Then Husband went all passive aggressive and moody about the trip. Eventually, he admitted he felt too sick to go. So the excursion was cancelled late on Friday night. Sprog 2 lay down and cried a puddle of tears on the family room floor when I broke the news on Saturday morning, “I want to see my cousins!” she wailed.
Instead, she tie-dyed 5o pieces of paper towel with a snotty-but-still-crafty Husband on Saturday morning (food colouring, squares of paper towel, folding … oddly effective …), then I took her and Sprog 1 to see Ice Age 4 on Saturday arvo to give the man-flu sufferer a break. The Sprogs enjoyed it. I thought it was pretty average. Especially since I couldn’t have a $5.40 (WTF?) choc-top because I’ve given up sugar.
Afterwards, we wandered to the pet shop to admire the puppies (the papillon-poodle crosses were my favourite, though one of them looked so sad to be locked in a cage), and finally headed to Toys R Us to see if the crab shells (an imitator of Zhu-Zhu pets, featuring battery-operated crabs instead of guinea pigs, which aimed to entice young afficionadoes to invest in expensive extra shells for their fake pets, but failed) were still on sale. Big mistake. Because they were. Sprog 1 wanted one, Sprog 2 didn’t. But Sprog 2 was not content to leave the toy shop without SOMETHING if Sprog 1 was getting SOMETHING. And she got all pouty and truculent when we couldn’t find anything suitable for $4. So we had WORDS. Then Sprog 1 got all rosy-cheeked and faint and had to be ushered outside because she thought she might be coming down with man flu, or lady flu, or whatever you call it. But Sprog 2 demanded to visit the $2 shop on the way out, so I got Sprog 1 to sit on the floor outside while I bowed to Sprog 2’s wishes.
Then I thought: “What the hell am I doing?”
And I got deeply shitty about Sprog 2 turning the afternoon into such a PRODUCTION when poor Sprog 1 was ILL. So I threatened to never take her to a toy shop again because she’d turned what was supposed to be a NICE AFTERNOON into such an ORDEAL. And no-one spoke to each other for quite a while after that.
That was my Saturday. How was yours?
housegoeshome 
Oh dear. First rule of parenting 101 is that you cant enter a toy store without expecting to buy some more useless crap. The second rule is that if one gets something the other has to have one. Its so rudimentary. I dont know why I keeping thinking I’m exempt from these simple principles. I only know there’s not alot of household saving happening in Chez ‘Abulous.
Wishing your hubby a speedy recovery.
Mumabulous