It’s my shameful secret but I’m so cross about losing my beloved radio station that I’ve decided to come out of the closet. And I’m shouting: WHAT THE FARK HAVE YOU DONE TO 95.3FM, YOU FARKING TOOLS? OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!
Husband is sick of me ranting to him about it, so he suggested I ear-bash you instead. He was never a fan of 95.3FM in the first place, so he’s struggling to muster any ire. When he’s in the car, he prefers to drive me bonkers by constantly faffing around with his iPod. Whereas I prefer to just switch on my (formerly) beloved 95.3FM and bop along to 70s and 80s stuff. Taking a musical step back in time – preferably with a disco beat or Rod Stewart warble – makes me happy. And now it’s gone. Sob. My classic hits have been replaced by an awful thing called Smooth FM.
Smooth FM has DJs including Richard Wilkins, Michael Buble, Jason Donovan and Ty Frost (what were his parents thinking? I’d be having a tense word with them if I were him). That’s right, Richard Wilkins (pffft, and the rest). Lord help me. Then there’s the music, no, the dreadful elevator muzak. It’s the aural version of Alicia Silverstone chewing food and spitting it into her child’s mouth (youtube it) – quite shocking and mushy. So I’ve been reduced to scrabbling around for old CDs in the car, which aren’t doing the trick. I’ve even given up on my new/old Adele one (always slow on the popular culture uptake) because it’s a bit croony and reminds me of the appalling crap they’re playing on Smooth. So I’m not enjoying my car trips nearly so much anymore.
Help me Sydney readers – to what station should I be tuning my car radio? I’m begging you, it’s an emergency.
housegoeshome 
I can’t help you with the radio station I’m afraid and …. WELL I AM IN SHOCK ABOUT THIS ALICIA PRE-CHEWING FOOD THING!!! ‘People come up to my husband at the YMCA and say, ‘That’s how we do it in the South!’ all the time’ she says. OMG. Might explain why Lindsay Lohan feels so comfortable tongue kissing her mum.
ps It’s not even the pre-chewing so much – it’s how it’s delivered that grosses me out!
So glad I could enrich your life.
You have always had slightly dubious taste in music Alana, maybe it is time to get out there and try listening to some new music. I am not even gouing to go there on the food chewing thing.
I feel your pain! All I can say is that I gave up on the commercial stations in disgust a little while ago and embraced the oldie in me. I now listen to ABC Classic FM – love Emma in the mornings – and if I need to feel a little more in touch with the music of today I go to Triple J, which keeps me feeling young.
Oohh, I’d forgotten Triple J. That’s a good one. Thx Lynne.
OMG Yes, yes yes!! To everything. I’m so glad you have had this rant for me too! I need to live vicariously through your rants – I don’t have a blog. Car trips are unbearable. I mean, Michael Buble? Yes, I want it rough too.
And here was me thinking I was the only dag in the village.