Expiry date

My astronomically expensive one-month gym membership expires on Monday. Should I stay or should I go? If I join for 12 months, it will cost me less than a quarter of the cleaner’s bill each week. Isn’t getting myself in order as important as getting the house in order? Plus I get a free Daily Telegraph every time I go. I don’t get that from my cleaner. Is the gym making a difference to my body? After three weeks there’s no discernable change. I still can’t “plank” or do “illegal” sit-ups (should anyone if they’re illegal?). The pilates teacher still puts a rolled up mat under my butt because I’m so inflexible. Just my butt. No-one else’s. I watch the moves she demonstrates and laugh (and laugh). Like the one where her body forms a “v”, legs pointing straight to the ceiling, arms stretched out, fingers holding toes, and rocks backwards and forwards. Yeah, right. During pump class I still want to remove the weights and just lift the bar. I don’t know how all the 70-year-olds do it. Am I enjoying the gym? Hmmmm. Not loving. Not hating. But hopeful my belly flobble will go if I persevere. It’d be nice to look down my top while attempting to plank and not see something resembling pizza dough hanging there. So I think I’ll persevere. I just have to ask Husband for the dosh. I requested a contract from a “membership consultant” this morning, so I could “show my husband”. Very liberating. I expect Husband will give me a “they are blaggards and thieves who will extract a pound of flesh [hopefully from my belly] if you try and cancel your membership early” lecture tonight. He’s spent much of his career pursuing and exposing blaggards and thieves through the media. So he’s quite knowledgeable on the subject. I will nod and agree that they are most likely blaggards and thieves who will extract a pound of flesh [hopefully from my belly] if I try to cancel the membership early, but can I join anyway? And he will say yes – because he always does, except when I want a pool or a new house – and I will become a certified drop-and-run-at-8.45am-and-drive-like-a-bat-out-of-hell-to-get-a-good-ab-blast-possie-preferrably-behind-a-pillar-so-the-instructor-can’t-see-me-slacking-off suburban gym junkie. Hurrah. I think.