I’m not giving the Sprogs enough “quality time”. It was supposed to be one of the big advantages of being a stay-at-home mum. But it aint happening. Last weekend was a prime example. On Saturday, I left home at 7.30am to visit a friend and didn’t return until 2pm. Then I rushed around madly, preparing for guests who were arriving at 3.30pm.The guests brought their kids along and the Sprogs had a great time, but not with me. It was 9.30pm when they left, too late to read the Sprogs a book (or attempt to play “flying baby”, a lying-on-the-bed-lifting game that was cute when Sprog 2 was three, but like Russian roulette for my back now she’s five). On Sunday morning I read the newspapers while Sprog 2 watched TV and Sprog 1 slept. Then Sprog 2 and I did the grocery shopping. We chatted as we trawled the aisles, but I’m not sure pushing a trolley qualifies as “quality time” with your kid. We came home and baked cookies and muesli bars – my sole 30 minutes of genuine “quality time” all weekend, but it didn’t involve Sprog 1, because she hates cooking. After lunch, we went to a desultory “fair” at a nearby bowling club. The kids ran wild on the jumping castle and in the petting zoo, while Mummy sat and enjoyed a drink with her friends. Again, the Sprogs had fun, but it wasn’t with me. And then the weekend was over. Weekdays are a complete write-off. Mornings never involve “quality time”, they’re “get dressed, clean your teeth, put your shoes on … I SAID GET DRESSED, CLEAN YOUR TEETH, PUT YOUR SHOES ON!” times. Afternoons are fraught too, with dancing lessons, swimming lessons, art classes, cooking dinner and homework. The Sprogs’ childhoods are racing past me and I’m not making the most of each fleeting moment. So yesterday I resolved to put my stresses aside (about dinner being late or homework not being done) and acquiese to their request to be hosed on the trampoline after dance lessons. It was fun, it was funny. I laughed, they laughed. They didn’t slip over and smack their heads together like melons, which was a nice bonus. I thought about offering a quick game of dominos after dessert, but was too heat-exhausted by the 38-degree scorcher. Instead, I put them to bed, read them books and survived another night of flying-baby Russian roulette, then stood under a cold shower deeply resenting everyone in a 10km radius with a pool.
TONIGHT’S MENU: Spag bol and garlic bread.
housegoeshome 
Alana, quality time with the kids is way over rated …. don’t beat yourself up about it. How much quality time can you remember spending with your folks when you were a child. I can hardly remember any at all with my parents (unless it was a Sunday afternoon outing) but I still managed to turn out quite normal and well adjusted. Kids of our generation spent their days playing and yahooing in the streets, we wren’t worried about spending ‘quality time’ with our parents. Today’s ‘quality time’ is yet another axample of making over worked and over stressed parents feel quilty if they don’t give their kids everything. Be easy on yourself.
You’re right. It does freak me out how quickly time passes, though. They’ll be teens before I know it.
Alana my Lovely you are too hard on yourself. Your children do not want “quality time”. They want parents who are vaguely interested and have a full wallet. They will come and attach themselves to you when they need to. They like it if you around, but you do not have to “do” activities with them. Did your parents play with you? Mine didn’t. I do remember my mother teaching me about classical music and teaching me to play piano, but I haven’t needed therapy…well I have, but for other reasons. You are their mum. No one can ever take that away. Cut out some of the after school activities…they may just as well be happy coming home and playing, by themselves. M xx
Dad would play board games with us and take us for bike rides. My grandmother was our constant playmate – cooking, games, mini-road trips – during school holidays. But you’re right, it was far less of an imperative for our parents. These days we overthink everything about parenting.
alana, u r giving the kids memories, u r taking them 2 things & places where they get 2 have fun… that cant b classed as ‘non-quality’… u rnt just sitting them in front of a tv or computer constantly & ignoring them… ‘quality’ is that u sat & listened to # 1 read the ending of her ‘choose your own adventure’, its that u r there & interact with them!