It’s my birthday today. I’m 44. I’m celebrating by holding a disco party for Sprog 2 and 15 of her friends in my living room. After uploading this blog I’ll be icing a couple of butter cakes to – hopefully – make them resemble a handbag with a mobile phone, lipstick, blush compact and money coming out of it. Wish me luck. I’ll need it. I’m not particularly bothered about spending my birthday in this fashion, because I don’t really like celebrating it. I’d prefer to leave the country. But the cruise isn’t until April 5, so I’m stuck. Against my better judgement, some school mums are taking me out for a drink on Sunday night to celebrate. And it’s making my brain want to pop. First there’s the imposition of expecting people to give up their valuable time to drink with me. Then there’s the fear none of them will come. I used to love my birthday, when I was a kid. I was born on St Patrick’s Day, which coloured my whole life emerald green. I had a pair of lucky green knickers I kept in my drawer and cracked out every March 17. When I grew up, I dreamed about getting an emerald green Datsun with tartan seats (really, they used to make them). Mum and Dad would take me to the buffet at the Quality Inn as a special birthday treat. Everything on the dessert table was green on St Pat’s Day. Awesome. Actually, a few things on the savoury table, like the mashed potato, were green too. Not quite so awesome, kinda gross. The thing I’ve always hated most about my birthday is the presents. I don’t like getting presents. I know, weird. This is mainly because I’m VERY hard to buy for. My family have virtually given up. They just ask what I want or send a gift card. Which gave me an idea. I expect you’ve all been racking your brains, trying to decide on the perfect gift for me. So I’m going to make it easy for you. I’m going to tell you what I’d really like. Here’s my wish list:
* Share your favourite housegoeshome.com blog post on Facebook. Hell, share any housegoeshome.com blog post on Facebook.
* Email a housegoeshome.com blog post to a friend.
* Tweet about housegoeshome.com
* Comment on one of my blog posts at housegoeshome.com.
* Subscribe to my blog (this would make me feel EXTRA special).
* Read a few of my blog posts you’ve missed lately.
See, something for everybody, and all very reasonably priced (ie free). So come on, show me the love. Make it like my hen’s night, when I made everyone to form a scrum around me and repeatedly chant “We looooooove … ALANA!” (I was very drunk.) Except this’ll be a virtual love-fest. I’m waiting …