It’s a new start

DD has caught zjooshing fever so I spent Monday evening at Kmart and Bunnings.

Bunnings was a hop and a skip from the Terrey Hills Tavern, so we returned to the birthplace of our relationship for dinner.

Ten years ago we agreed to meet there – midway between our two houses – for a cider after exchanging a few messages on rsvp.com.

He laid his soul bare, I revealed that my a blog post I’d written about women shagging dinosaurs had gone viral …

We parted in the carpark, where he unexpectedly floated the idea of a second date.

He later wrote about that meeting at the pub saying he recalled a “blue dress, a mischievous look, a jauntily confident attitude, a playful naughty smile, reddish hair with a few bits of grey, and a cider bottle being swirled around casually. Oh and stories of triceratops sex and you kind of warning me that you were trouble and a blogger, but don’t worry your pretty little head about that now cos I ‘promise not to blog about you’.

“Anyway, after that I went home thinking “well we should do that again some time…..”

“I think even slept that night.

“Then all I can remember is a text at 6.30am the following Tuesday and then after that it is ALL a complete blur.”

Ten years later …

My kids are both adults and have flown the coop. DD and I have maintained our independence and have resisted the urge to co-habitate.

I am enjoying that freedom while simultaneously being in a funk about the kids flying the coop.

As I moped on Friday night, DD sent me a text that said: “It’s not the end, it’s a new start.”

He was trying to make me feel better. But it didn’t make me feel better about my kids being 21 and 18 and already living in different cities to their mother.

Start to WHAT?

A new stage of my life, apparently.

Are there any single mums out there who are happy their kids have moved out of home early?

Hurrah! A new stage of my life! Bring it on!

I don’t feel that yet.

All the stories I read about embracing empty nesting are about couples rediscovering their relationship once they can focus on each other, without the daily distractions of parenting.

Relationships Australia says: “Once children have grown up and moved out, it is the perfect opportunity to reconnect, rekindle and re-engage with your significant other, emotionally, physically and intimately.”

It’s not quite the same when your partner lives 45 minutes away. There is no reconnecting, rekindling and re-engaging in your new reality because you see them just as often as always, once or twice a week.

I really like living in my apartment and I am not lonely in my day to day life. But I miss having a child under my roof. I miss cooking for two or three and having others around the table to share the meal. I miss having someone to help me with the dogs … especially when I put my back out!

I miss knowing there is someone else in the house, even if I rarely see them.

I also need to get a lock box thingie with a spare set of keys in it so the paramedics can rescue me if my back goes out again and I can’t move from bed or the floor or something.

Cheery.