ARE YOU STILL ALIVE OR DEAD??

Those were the compelling words, typed in capital letters, that greeted me when I checked my inbox last week.

I was intrigued and opened the email to discover it was from the “Desk of Susan Mensah Director ATM Head of Operation UBA America Bank, New York”

Ooooh, exciting.

Susan said:

Dear Beneficiary

This notification letter is regarding to your abandoned ATM Visa Card valued sum of $50.5million USD and I have not received any positive respond from you or making a suggestion on how you wish to receive your ATM Card. Once again, I am Miss. Susan Mensah, the new director ATM Head of Operation UBA America Bank.

I resumed to this office on the 5th of May 2024 and during my official research I discovered an abandoned ATM Master card valued sum of $50.5Millions dollars belonging to you as the rightfully intimate beneficiary.

I tried to know why this card has not been released to you but I was told by the UBA Bank management that the former director ATM head of operation who left this office two months ago withhold your card for his own personal use without knowing that his evil plans towards diverting your fund will be discovered.

Now that your ATM Visa card is still available and ready for your receiving, below is all the required information needed from you to enable the delivery of your ATM Card to proceed to your home address.

Your Full Name………..
Your Age………………….
Your Occupation…………………..
Home address:……………..
Cell phone number:…………
Nearest airport…………….
Valid Email Address……………….
Identification card attachment………..
And take a picture of yourself and attached…

Your ATM card payment will be made known to you as soon as I receive your swift positive response.

Thanks for your co-operation and I wait for your kind positive respond.

Looks totally legit, right?

Woo hoooooo! My dreams of giving up work and cruising the world have come true!

Yeah, nah.

They haven’t.

But “Susan” the scam artist did make me laugh.

Bwahahaha … his evil plans … bwahahaha.

Geez I am sick of scam artists. They are everywhere these days. They send me emails, Facebook messages, DMs on Instagram, texts on my phone.

Fark off you filthy mongrels.

My Drinks Digest email address is also constantly bombarded with fake people wanting to “collaborate” with me on my WordPress sites.

For example:

Hello there,

I am hereby approaching you to publish my posts on housegoeshome.com.

Would you please let us know your price per post? We intend to pay you through PayPal or Payoneer or Bank Transfer.

I assure you that the content features and niches will exactly meet your blog’s specifications. I must tell you that we don’t share erotic, illicit, or vicious links.

Let’s connect in a long term professional association.

Looking forward to hearing a quick response from your side.

Regards,

Henry Williams

Call me crazy, but I am 100 per cent sure that anyone who starts an email to me with “I am hereby approaching you to publish my posts” is not someone I want to connect with in a long term professional association. Hereby??? If I ever use the word “hereby” in a blog post other that when quoting fake Henry Williams, please send me back to the 13th century in the Tardis.

Speaking of the olden days, my friend Ashley shared this image on his Facebook page …

True that. In so many ways.

Though I have no idea how we used to find each other at music festivals.

And I’m still scarred by the many hours I spent as a teenager waiting at the appointed time beside my mum’s car at Garden City shopping centre, wondering where the hell she was.

A mobile phone would have been super handy back then.

Have a good weekend. Catch you next week.

Song of the day: Fleetwood Mac “Little lies”