The diagnosis is …

I have an obsessive personality. It could be OCD or ADHD or anxiety, but I find it hard to get out of mental grooves once I’m in them.

In my younger days I was hyper-focused on crazy business ideas. It drove my ex husband nuts and it was exhausting. I usually had my ideas at 6am and would bombard him with them the moment he woke up.

It is very hard to process crazy business ideas when you have sleep in your eyes.

I even made him go to a “how to run a bnb” weekend-long conference once. He emerged from the experience saying there was no way he was cleaning toilets for a living.

My ideas have ranged from a pet shop that only sells fake pets and accessories, to a Baby Bunting-style shop that only sells baby dolls and accessories, dinner-in-a-bag (a precursor to Hello Fresh), a vegetarian restaurant called No Bull, and an indoor beach bar with a sand pool like the one at the Hard Rock Hotel in Singapore.

As I got older, wiser and wearier, I went off the idea of slogging away at a business that ran a high probability of going broke.

So I moved onto other fixations.

One of the final nails in my marriage coffin was my yearning for a swimming pool.

I decided happiness was to be found in a 6m X 4m piece of moulded fibreglass.

I literally never shut up about it. Should I get an inground or above ground? Should it be on the side of the deck or in front of it? Was our house suitable for a fibreglass pool that was craned over the roof or would it need to be built on site? Should I get one that had been repurposed out of a shipping container or water tank? Would we be better with a chlorine or salt or mineral one?

I suspect his love for me died a little more each time I banged on about it.

I remember collecting him from the hospital after an operation, just before the first time he told me he wanted out of our marriage.

He was still a bit groggy and sore and I spent the whole drive home babbling about that bloody pool.

He simmered with rage beside me. I prattled on obliviously.

It was such an odd thing for me to be obsessed about, as I don’t even like swimming pools. I’m an ocean person – the last thing I want now is a giant hulk of fibreglass to clean and maintain.

In recent years I’ve started diving down digital rabbit holes.

I will often become completely fixated on Domain.com.au, whether I’m in the market for a new place or not.

My property searching got so heavy duty at one point that I was mistaken for a bot and locked out of the platform one day. Well, I’m presuming that’s what it was. Every waking moment, aside from when I was working or making dinner, was spent on the app.

That mania isn’t with me at the moment – I might idly check Domain every few weeks or so, but I’ve moved on … for now.

When I downsized to my apartment, I couldn’t rest until I had decorated it. Endless hours were spent agonising over furnishings. It’s scary how much time I spent searching for the perfect bone inlay cabinet.

Now that’s done, apart from the kitchen stools, I’ve lost interest in the 50 million homewares website newsletters I’ve subscribed to and don’t even open them in my inbox.

More recently there was the week-long linen jacket search. That was intense.

And then I entered my cruise phase, which has been all-consuming.

I look at cruise itineraries when I wake up in the morning, I look at them when I go to bed at night. I look at them as I’m walking from the car to the gym. I look at them while I wait for my Pump class to start. I look at them when I park the car and before I turn the engine off.

DD has been getting about 10 messages a day with my latest finds. He doesn’t even open them because he knows I will have moved on to another “perfect” one in a few hours.

Fortunately at this point he’s not simmering with rage as I prattle. Give him a few weeks …

Anyways, I’ve realised I didn’t get around to telling you about my weekend.

It was pretty much spent looking at cruises online and going for a brisk swim at Avalon and eating delicious Abrolhos Island scallops at Palm Beach Golf Club.

Actually, there’s an awesome cruise that goes to the Abrolhos Islands …

We also sipped what DD has described as one of the best Margarita’s he’s ever tasted at Bar Patron near Circular Quay. That’s a pretty big call as Margarita’s are DD’s go to jetlag cure when he gets off the plane on business trips. And he’s been on A LOT of business trips.

The little quesadillas that accompanied the Margaritas were equally delicious, if insanely expensive. Good thing we weren’t very hungry at $13 a pop!

The cruise mania suddenly deserted me yesterday and it’s scenic railway journeys I’m frantically Googling now.

Although I am intrigued by a link I saw to river cruises in Africa …