How was your weekend?
Mine started with a trip to Newcastle for my dad’s birthday. I got him a dad joke book and a lottery pack because 83 year olds are very hard to buy for.
The shop assistant at Dymocks terrified me when I bought the book by firing dad jokes at me while I was trying to pay for it.
My brain literally can’t compute answers to stuff like “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?”.
I just kept staring at her blankly saying “I don’t know” over and over and praying she would stop and let me slink away with my book purchase.
As I’ve previously moaned, I haven’t been sleeping well due to constant jack-hammering and book stress, so I was not running at my usual hyper speed during my dad’s birthday lunch.
Although the four hours in the car with me still felt like this Seinfeld riff for DD:
I was swimmy with weariness as DD drove back to Sydney so I didn’t need to know how he might respond to quite as many theoretical situations as usual.
When I got home at 5pm there were dogs to be walked and groceries to be bought as we’d run out of toilet paper and teenagers refuse to buy toilet paper because it’s embarrassing.
I tottered home and wearily did an overdue freelance job, then thought I’d have a nice bath to wind down.
I was given a “Whisky Whizzer” at a whisky function a while back so I chucked that in the water.
What’s a Whisky Whizzer?
It’s one of those bath bomb thingies, and this one contained Glen Moray Single Malt Whisky from Islay.
A bit left-field, but hey.
(When you Google “whisky whizzer” you get lots of images of a gadget featuring a small boy weeing whisky, as pictured above. Can someone please explain why anyone could ever want that gadget?)
Then I noticed the bath water wasn’t hot. The youngest had finished a long shower just beforehand and we have a teeny tiny hot water service. I boiled the kettle twice and tipped the water into the tub, but it was still lukewarm.
I was too tired to boil the kettle a third time so I sighed and got in the lukewarm water and watched travel videos to take my mind off the disappointment.
While the water wasn’t hot, I did step out of the bath feeling more human.
After a walk and a workout on Sunday morning I hit the computer for the rest of the day to try and knock over a chunk of the manuscript, as I have my first deadline to the publisher this week.
Then I headed to DD’s for a glass of pink wine and a chat with him – well, more of a “talk at” – on the sofa.
Then we went out for suburban Chinese and came home to watch more travel videos.
Now it’s bloody Monday again. That was too quick.
Song of the day: The Pretenders “I go to sleep”
housegoeshome 
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