Very misleading

Things got a bit crazy in the last days before I moved out of my house, so I dashed off a blog post explaining that I was taking some time off.

Then messages starting coming in from people who thought I’d decided to step away from HouseGoesHome permanently ….


I was just going off line for a few days.

I am currently sitting at a card table in DD’s spare bedroom tapping away, having a little mini break from normal life while the floors are replaced in my new apartment.

Well, I say new, but the apartment block is actually a bit scruffy and old. However, the inside of my unit will – eventually – be lovely.

Anyways, I am back early from my blogging break because I will have too much to tell you if I wait any longer. The tales are bursting out of me.

The move went pretty smoothly, probably the least frenzied one that I have done. It was with Posch & Silva, a Brazilian mob from Manly. They were lovely.

They moved everything into the apartment’s garage and will return to take it all upstairs on Wednesday. Not the cheapest way to do things, but hey.

Things that went wrong on moving day included there not being a remote button thingy for the underground parking area. A crappy old, sticky taped thing was procured by the agent, but it didn’t work. Also, there was a big puddle of water in the kitchen.

Halfway through the sale period for the apartment, the kitchen floor needed to be replaced because the dishwasher had leaked all over it. I thought the dishwasher had been fixed when the new floor went in, but no, it had just been disconnected and had continued spilling its guts. So I got the Brazilians to take it downstairs and now I need to get a new dishwasher in addition to two garage remotes.

The real estate agent is giving me the remotes as a house warming present because the owners refused to pay for them.

My eyebrows almost reached my hairline when I heard that.

But I am not one to make waves.

Unlike the new owners of my place …

But before I tell you about THEM, you need to hear about the wacky way I celebrated moving day.

I had a last shower in my laundry, dressed up and went to at a bar called Dean and Nancy on 22 with DD …

Where we drank a $15,000 cocktail! As you do …

Fortunately I did not pay for Australia’s most expensive cocktail, I had been invited to taste it by a whiskey distillery called Woodford Reserve.

The luxury libation featured Woodford’s premium luxury XO Cognac finished Baccarat Edition, paired with a gold-infused Chateau d’Yquem reduction, handmade saffron and vanilla bitters and specially-engraved ice sprinkled with gold flakes.

It was accompanied by glamorous nibbles including caviar and lobster rolls.

The evening felt very how the other half lives.

On Thursday I paid handsomely for cleaners to scrub my house from top to bottom. This is not a requirement of sale, but is good manners. In the afternoon the new owners went over to do their final inspection and had a fit about three things.

There were a few cobwebs in the garage.

Again, my eyebrows almost reached my hairline.

FFS it’s an effing garage.

Also I had left useful cans of paint in the shed, including a brand new Dulux one for the unpainted side of the house. DD had taken the old ones to be recycled. But the new owners demanded they all be removed.

My eyebrows went up again.

They also demanded some timber sleepers that were lying down the side of the house be removed. The sleepers came with the house when I bought it 10 years ago. I didn’t make a fuss.

The real estate agent dutifully got a broom and removed the cobwebs, then carried the sleepers and paint out to the nature strip for council clean up.

Little do any of them realise that neither the paint or the sleepers will be eligible for pick up.

DD assures me it is not my problem.

I wonder how the new owners felt about the three rat graves beside the shed?

Maybe that gave their eyebrows a work out?

I hope so because they are not my favourite people right now.

After the new owners had gone I went back to the house for the very last time. My eyes got a little misty as I looked at those little graves. Twitch was the nicest rat I’ve ever met.

I also looked around the kitchen and deck and my bedroom and felt pleased with the renovations I had done.

I had a good cry as I left the spare key and drove away.

It was the house that I bought alone when my marriage ended and there are a lot of memories – both good and bad – within its walls.

But I am glad that all the responsibilities that come with owning a house have been lifted from my shoulders.

Then I drove to the boarding kennel to collect the dogs, who had been sent away so they wouldn’t be underfoot during the move.

Boarding kennels are not cheap and this one added to the expense by losing the dogs’ leads, harnesses AND collars.

They said they’d get back to me on Monday if they managed to track them down. FFS. So I called DD on his way home from the city and asked him to make a pit stop at Kmart for cheap temporary ones.

Then Charlie started limping on Saturday, so I took him to a local vet, who said he had a heart murmur, a loose knee cap, and hip and neck pain.

He’s now on lots of meds and my bank account is trembling with fear …

You probably won’t hear from me again for a few days as things are about to get very hairy again during stage two of the move.

Catch you on the other side.

Then the next big job on my list is getting rid of that shitebox of an orange car.

Song of the day: Michael Buble “New day”

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