Sharing my children

The Sharpest Pencil asked a confronting question earlier this week: “Do you want the weekend off from your kids?”

It was sparked by Rachael Finch revealing that she spends her weekends without her daughter.

The Herald Sun ran a feature story on Rachael that said:

On weekends, from Friday afternoon until Sunday morning, the two-and-a-half-year-old stays with Miziner’s mother, Irena. Violet’s great-grandma (Miziner’s grandmother, Elizabeth) is also on hand if the couple need some extra childcare.

“She’s just turned 85, and she walks down to our house and takes Violet for a walk,” Finch tells Sunday Style magazine.

“Every weekend (Violet) goes to Mish’s mum’s house, and we get our weekend to ourselves. I think that’s incredibly healthy for the relationship. And on Sunday, when we pick her up, we have 100 per cent energy back.”

The internet collectively lost their shite over it. And I do admit I find the arrangement slightly unconventional, but each to their own.

 

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Rachael has since defended herself on Instagram, saying: “A Mother should never be made to feel they are not good enough for their child when they are doing everything they can to keep them safe, happy and loved. Only the parents of a child truly know what is best and should always have faith in their decisions.

“I value dearly the relationship Violet has with her Grandmother and I believe this is one of the most important and influential relationships growing up.

“I work hard so that I can provide the best future for the amazing soul we have created. I won’t ever stop believing in her or the strength of the family unit.”

The reason I found The Sharpest Pencil’s question “Do you want the weekend off from your kids?” so confronting is that I DO want the weekend off from my kids.

Currently, I have them every Saturday and my ex has them every Sunday. He misses them desperately and can’t bear the thought of a weekend on-weekend off scenario.

In an ideal world I wouldn’t have to share them AT ALL, but since life gave me lemons, I’m trying to make lemonade.

I’m tiring of the constrictions that my current situation presents.

It would be lovely to spend relaxed weekends with my kids. Since our family separated there’s been very little time to interact with their stuff – play badminton or table tennis, shoot netball hoops, pull out board games. Forget about weekends away together, they’re a rare commodity.

And – go ahead, shoot me – I’d like to spend some weekends with my new partner. I’m trying to make a new life for myself during those times when an another woman is parenting my two children.

I’m also feeling that the kids might need a bit less movement in their lives. The current set up involves them moving backwards and forwards between two homes four times every week.

It’s not something I’m going to rush into changing. But it’s on my mind.

So, while I love my kids like crazy, yes, I think I want every second weekend off.

Song of the day: U2 “Lemon”

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4 thoughts on “Sharing my children

  1. It’s the ‘to and fro’ing’ that I find exhausting : have they got the right uniform (socks, shoes, shirt, skirt), school diary, homework book, laptop and charger, iPod and charger? And the rest…

    I think you deserve to have a whole weekend off if you want it. go and hang out with DD all day Sat and Sun! Or don’t. Whatever you want.

    • I can’t tell you the number of times a child has wandered out of their bedroom -five minutes before we’re supposed to leave for school – to inform me that a vital part of their uniform or homework is at their father’s place.

  2. Wow, four times a week is huge! My Aunt and Uncle must have been light years ahead of their time really when they separated and they both re-married the arrangement that they came up with was week about. So my Aunty and her new husband had 6 kids once per fortnight and on the other week none. And my Uncle and his new wife had 4 kids on the other week and then none.

    Their separation and divorce was by no means amicable but somehow the all the parents involved which I think is four couples (is that right?) it actually makes my head spin how many people were involved in ensuring that they all agreed to the same weeks! It meant that when we went to Canberra to visit the family sometimes we saw them sometimes we didn’t it just depended on whether it was their week with their Dad.

    I can completely get that no situation is ideal and in a perfect world you would never have to be without them but I think perhaps it is time to sit down with the girls and ask them what would work for them better.

    Big hugs. Who knew parenting would be so bloody hard and so judged by the world at every turn. Whatever works is best for everyone!

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