I hate camping.
The last time I slept in a tent (shudder) was on Cockatoo Island about four years ago.
What AM I talking about? There was no sleeping! I tossed and turned for hours as the party boats cruised by, blasting disco music. Then my thoughtful fellow holidaymakers let their feral offspring run rampant through the campsite at 5am.
The time before THAT was when I was 18 … in Albury … in the depths of winter. My sister and I went on holidays with my first boyfriend and his best mate. We ate dreadful food out of tins and huddled in front of the dryer in the amenities block to thaw. The next morning we had to beat the iced-over tent on the ground to fold it so we could hit the road.
I am NOT a camping person.
But I am trying to be more open to new things. So I am going camping.
I’ve been a little startled by how expensive it is to go camping. I thought it was supposed to be a budget holiday option.
I’ve bought cheap folding chairs – I figured we needed new ones – and summer-weight sleeping bags – the kids are going to a lot of school camps these days, so it seemed more sensible than borrowing them – and I’ve spent $300 on food and drinks and another $300 on bed and board for the dogs at Hanrob.
I’d normally ask my mate Glen if he was available to dog sit, but Hanrob had sent me a mega-cheap “special offer” so I figured I’d give him a break from the needy fur babies and my hot pink bed linen.
But I got up-sold over the phone at booking time.
I am such a pushover. They talked me into the two-times-a-day play and bath upgrade. It was only after I handed over my credit card details that I realised they’d be in transit on Friday and Monday and wouldn’t need extra play time.
DD was not sympathetic to my kennel bill. He doesn’t love camping either.
He texted: “Dogs getting better deal than me … They will sleep in comfort.”
True, I replied: “They get two play sessions a day and a bath.”
I won’t get a bath, or a shower. There’s just a river and some portaloos.
Quite scary, really.
Actually, no, the most terrifying bit is there is no mobile phone coverage or wifi at the campsite.
So I’m having a digital detox.
Stay tuned for all the gory details when I get back on Monday.