Ooooh, I feel loooove

love

Have I told you the story of my combined bucks and hens night? Husband, being the metrosexual type, wasn’t keen on a lion-dancing, stripper-jiggling affair. So we celebrated our impending nuptials with a unisex bash at an inner-city pub.

Towards the end of the evening – prior to stumbling to Hungry Jacks – I got the stragglers to form a footy-style huddle, made them press against me, throw their arms in the air and shout: “We all love … Alana!!!”

And repeat. And repeat.

Oh god. Yes. I did.

I am not normally so open with my neediness. But waaaaay too many Vodka Redbulls obliterated my inhibitions.

It was glorious.

I wrote a blog on Friday asking people for their opinions on my blog – whether it should continue, whether it should change it’s focus. I didn’t intend it to become a “We all love … Alana!!!” style huddle, but that’s what I got.

And that was glorious too.

In the words of Em Rusciano, who wrote on her Facebook page last week after winning a Blogster award: “Enjoy this because it will probably get deleted in the morning when I’m not 35 white wines in.. You lot, you people who have “liked” this page, who buy tickets to my shows, who read my blogs, you have allowed me to be me without feeling like an awkward fuck head which I have spent my entire life feeling like. I have a shiny trophy and a new computer because you bothered to vote. Thank you bitches. I wish you were all here with me instead of these 20 year old uber cool kids who think I’m someone’s Mum. That is all. I’m putting my phone away before I start with the “I love YOUSE” shit. But I do. Love. Youse.”

Now, I am definitely no Em Rusciano. Em got 9055 likes on that Facebook post. I am far more – let me put it delicately – niche. OK, less delicately: my blog is tiny. I’m not terribly good at marketing my neediness without a bucket of Vodka Redbull in my belly.

But I have the most lovely, loyal following (bolstered by some fairly astronomical views from curious strangers arriving at my blog seeking enlightenment on a certain sex act called the “triceratops position” … and leaving terribly disappointed) and I want to thank youse all too.

People have said the sweetest things on the HouseGoesHome Facebook page, in private messages and in comments.

There have been welcome voices of caution too, such as my old flatmate Margot who gave me a solid – and much needed – dose of reality by commenting: “I love you Alana but some of what you write is not for public consumption, it’s for a journal. You can still blog about all sorts of experiences, but do you really want the world to know some of it, especially when it comes to emotions?”

And I’ve thought about that A LOT, after writing this as my initial response: “Well that got my back up nice and high for those reverse planks at the gym this morning.”

reverseplank

Shauna, this is a reverse plank

My take-out is that I need to hold some things back that might bite my family in the future. But, my emotions? No. I am out there and proud with them.

Hardly anyone admits how they really feel. People ask “How are you?” But they don’t really want to know the truth. They just want the standard answer: “Great!” Anything else makes them vaguely uncomfortable.

If I can be real, I reckon it’s a good thing. I want to speak the stuff people are too scared or shy to say. If they see that someone else is experiencing it, perhaps it will make them feel more normal. They won’t think they’re such a freak.

So HouseGoesHome will stumble along for a bit longer. But I vow to be more mindful of not hurting others – and protect those closest to me – moving forward. Geese I encounter on social media remain a grey area …

Song of the day: Donna Summer “I feel love”

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Ooooh, I feel loooove

  1. Hi Alana. I’ve been reading your blog in the mornings for a little while as my ‘treat’ with a cup of coffee before all hell breaks loose and the kids get up and I have so, so often meant to send you a reply or a few words of support…but then (sigh) invariably get side-tracked yelling at kids to get ready for school, looking for socks or other lost bits of uniforms (which I ask them every night to put out so that they can find them in the morning!) and getting myself out the door and off to work on time.

    Having been through a difficult relationship breakdown I can really relate to so many of the events and feelings and emotions you’ve written about in your blog (right down to the house hunting headaches, the weird and wonderful world of RSVP and the barking dog/narky letter-writing neighbours!). I just wanted to say I love your raw and honest writing, and I’m sure it helps lots of us (me, the classic bottler-upper included) just to know that someone else is going through the same things…and surviving. The upshot of all that rambling is I hope you keep the blog going…and keep keeping us entertained with all those little gems like triceratops sex 🙂

    Natalie B (from KHS)

    PS: I’m up for a Newie bar crawl if you and Megz (Hi Megz!) are heading off on one (might even be able to drag Kim along!)

    • Hi Natalie! Wow, long time no see. Thank you so much for supporting – and enjoying – the blog. A Newie bar crawl sounds like fun. I’m hoping to get up there more frequently once I sort my life out a bit. And I know lots of good places now, thanks to Lindy and John.

      • Yes, it has been ages! Have been to 5 Sawyers, but the others were new to me..so I’m up for a bit of a bar hop anytime you’re around 🙂 .

  2. That’s a reverse plank? I told my trainer yesterday morning that lying flat on my back was a reverse plank. No wonder he didn’t laugh! I love your blog too, by the way.

  3. I can’t even remember when I first started reading your blog, but must be a couple of years now? I don’t read every single post (there’s so much reading to be done these days!), but every time I visit I find a whole lot of ‘real’ and it’s definitely a good thing. I’ve been dabbling in monetising my own blog and just playing around with different directions lately, but the posts that always attract the best feedback are the ‘from the heart’ ones that people can relate to, or at least learn something from. And most of yours fall into that category! I’m glad you’re continuing to blog for the time being. I’d miss it!

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