Unexpected upsides to divorce

My separation bible, HuffPost Divorce, recently ran a story called “11 Things You Can Look Forward To About Single Life”. Now there’s a clickable headline for someone in my predicament!

It asked readers to share the one thing they appreciated most about being on their own since their divorces. Here’s what they had to say …

1. “Your days of being alone with someone sitting right there next to you are officially over.”

2. “The arguments cease to exist. You may have lost your ex, but you gain a sense of peace and a chance at being happy by yourself — or maybe with someone else.”

3. “You can breathe again. Also, having the bed to yourself? Pure joy.”

4. “Rejoice! You can now spend money on anything you want — including things your ex would have frowned upon and considered wasteful.”

5. “You now have the opportunity to create whatever future you want for yourself.”

6. “Best. Sex. Ever.”

7. “That remote control is all yours. I no longer have to change the channel every time her soap opera comes on.”

8. “Being pushed around, lied to, cheated on, and emotionally abused are a thing of the past. The best thing, though, is finding real love, and finally feeling safe, both physically and emotionally.”

9. “Honest talk here: If it was rough toward the end with your ex, it’s a relief not having to wake up every morning to see the biggest mistake of your life.”

10. “The best thing is getting to be yourself again. I’m now learning to love myself first.”

11. “You have another chance to learn from your faults — and the opportunity to be a lot more careful the next time you choose your partner.”

Quite a few of those points ring VERY true for me.

The one I didn’t expect to enjoy so much was having the bed to myself. People kept saying that sleeping alone would be the worst, that many tears would be shed. But I LOVE it. Husband and I were on very different body clocks. He’d stay up late watching tellie and could sleep in forever. I’d be a zombie by 9.30pm and tucked up in bed, then awake again at 5am the next morning.

It didn’t make for happy bedfellows. Especially when I was getting up three times a night to wee.

Now I don’t have to worry. I can go to sleep when I please. I can get up when I please. I can toss and turn as much as I like … It’s incredibly liberating.

The spending money on whatever I want bit is pretty cool too. I know that sounds shallow, but it became a real sticking point in our relationship. Take, for example, our barbecue. It’s very, very, very old and looks like this …

Before Husband left we visited Bunnings together. I was gazing longingly at the barbecues when he intoned heavily: “Alana, happiness is not be be found in a new barbecue.”

Yes, yes, but it’d be nice, wouldn’t it?

Now I’m free – once I get a bloody job – to buy whatever I want without fear of disapproval. Woot.

I’d still rather be an intact family, but hey, it helps to find upsides.

There’s stuff on the HuffPost list that I’m yet to experience, but I’m looking forward to that too.

Do you have any plusses to single life to add to the HuffPost list?

Song of the day: Alanis Morissette “You Oughta Know” (from HuffPost Divorce’s Top 10 Songs To Get You Through Divorce) Ooooh, she’s SO cross …