It’s complicated … and freaking sad

I get my kids back tonight after a lonely Easter without them.

They’ve been having a lovely time with their cousins, and I’m glad of that. But sitting at home alone has felt like some sort of cruel punishment – normally have gone along and been part of the fun.

Not anymore.

There were moments when it gets really hard to hold onto my love being better than hate philosophy. Yesterday was one loooooooooong moment.

To celebrate the return of my gorgeous girls, I’m baking Jamie Oliver’s Snake In The Hole for dinner tonight. It’s a variation on toad in the hole, except with a meatloafy thing shaped like a serpent twirling through the yorkshire pudding batter.

Fingers crossed it’s yumbo columbo.

It’s been weird curling up on the sofa at night in the empty house.

There are moments everything seems totally normal, like the last few months never happened. My mind plays tricks on me, tells me Husband has just taken the kids to visit their cousins for a few days and they’ll all be home soon.

But Husband is never coming home again. He lives somewhere else now. He likes his new life.

Last night, to pass the hours, I rented myself a Meryl Streep divorce double feature: Heartburn and It’s Complicated.

Heartburn was a corker. I loved it every bit as much as the book. It’s amazing that Hollywood didn’t try and shoe-horn some happy ending onto it. She just leaves her husband and gets on a plane with her two little kids.

Though I suspect a very cute and young Jeff Daniels would date her in a heartbeat.

It’s Complicated was reassuring and depressing in equal parts. Meryl played a woman who divorced after 20 years marriage, spent the next 10 years getting comfortable with being on her own and established an awesome new life for herself in a to-die-for house, running a successful bakery/cafe.

Then her ex decided he fancies her again at the very same time another man finally started paying  her attention (after ten years … TEN years).

I love Alec Baldwin’s cheeky character in it, and I still don’t completely understand why she chose Steve Martin’s shy architect over him … but it was probably the sensible route to take.

There wasn’t time to turn it into a triple bill, so I skipped Meryl in Hope Springs. But I don’t think I would have had the emotional resilience for that one. Meryl and Tommy Lee Jones play a couple in their 50s who’ve lost their way. Meryl convinces Tommy to go to a week-long marriage therapy workshop with her to try and save their relationship, but he’s angry and defensive, resistant to change, and unwilling to see the depth of his wife’s disappointment. 

Of course they sort things out in the end and live happily ever after. Bah humbug.

But I do love that Hollywood is making movies about over 50s that are real and funny and have sex in them.

Can’t say I love approaching my 50s and being forced to tackle it all in real life though.

That sucks.

Got any other good divorce movies for me???

Song of the day: Joy Division “Love will tear us apart”


2 thoughts on “It’s complicated … and freaking sad

  1. I just read Heartburn after you mentioned it and saw the movie clips on YouTube. LOVE It’s Complicated! Um…I love Le Divorce with Naomi Watts and Kate Hudson. That movie makes me hungry too. You are doing so well Alana, you are going to love your new life too. Imagine the only people you come home to being people who love you and have your best interests at heart…heaven. x

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