Sticky situation

There’s no discreet way to say this – the bunny ejaculated on Husband’s leg on Monday night. He also ejaculated on my Sunday Life magazine, the newspaper and the Persian rug.

Husband isn’t fond of the bunny at the best of times, so he put his sticky foot down and insisted something be done. More accurately, that the bunny be done.

I’ve been tiring of Frodo nipping my ankles seductively, so I agreed to make some calls.

Fortunately we live a few suburbs away from a vet “who exclusively see rabbits, ferrets, guinea pigs, rats, mice, lizards, snakes, turtles, frogs and axolotls”. (Now that’s going to be an interesting waiting room.)

Explaining the neutering operation to my seven-year-old was a little tricky, as we haven’t had the sex talk yet. So I explained that Frodo needed something fixed in his belly so we could buy him a friend and he wouldn’t fight with it.

The seven-year-old was cool with that – any excuse for another pet – but she was worried that something bad might happen to Frodo. I assured her he was in very safe hands.

After all, the vet I’ve chosen “became a Diplomate of the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners in Exotic Companion Mammals, the first and only Australian vet to achieve these credentials.”

Impressive, huh? Only the best for my Frodo.

Also impressive is how much it’s going to cost to have the bunny neutered – $232.50. And he might have to stay overnight. I asked if accommodation was extra and they assured me it was an inclusive price. Thank god.

My next call was to a school mum who has an unneutered female rabbit she’s considering getting up the duff. Thought I might give Frodo a last chance to sow his seed while he still has some. Might get a free companion for him in the process.

Although I don’t know why I say “free”. By the time you pay for vet bills, food, luxury hutches and kitty litter, there’s nothing free about it.

Has an animal ever thought you were it’s girlfriend/boyfriend? Check out this video of a goose who fell in love with a retired bloke (link below pic) …

http://www.wimp.com/gooseman/