The babysitting incident

I’ve been regaling the (bored) Sprogs with tales of Mummy and Daddy’s adventures abroad and reminding them that they once knew the “Badger” guests at the wedding we attended in Charleston. The groom, in particular, had the happy task of babysitting the Sprogs one day – when they were 2 and 4 – while I went on an excursion to a New Jersey outlet mall.

Here’s a pre-HouseGoesHome blog I wrote about it:

“I woke last Tuesday night at 11pm to an almighty roar. It was Harlem, erupting in jubilation over Barack Obama’s victory. Horns honked, thousands of people cheered. It was the most amazing, joyful sound. And it felt incredible to be living in New York at such a historic moment.

I spent Election Day itself in a far more pedestrian manner. While Americans lined up in unprecedented numbers to vote, I hopped on a tour bus to an outlet mall called Woodbury Common. However, as the woman who organised the trip noted, everyone on the bus was proudly doing their bit for the US economy.

My excuse for going to Woodbury Common was that the kids needed warm clothes. Leggings and a few tracksuit tops were not going to cut it during New York’s freezing winter months. But I had an ulterior motive. I’d googled the mall and discovered it had 220 stores, including Gucci, Chloe, Jimmy Choo and numerous other lust-worthy labels that I normally couldn’t afford. Woo-hoo!

However, it didn’t take long after I arrived to realise that I couldn’t afford designer labels at outlet prices either. And it was eight long hours before the bus would return to take me home.

I’d been looking forward to the trip for weeks, but I just couldn’t get into the spirit of shopping after that little reality check. I tried on a few pairs of Marc Jacobs trousers at Barney’s Co-Op and flicked half-heartedly through the racks at Saks, but I was no longer in the mood. Although, I did snaffle two DKNY hoodies for just $15 each.

I slowly got into the spirit of things and bought swags of stuff for the girls. Furry hooded coats, warm socks, tracksuit pants, scarves … A few hundred dollars dressed them from head to toe for the season, so the trip wasn’t completely in vain.

Back in Manhattan, my husband needed someone to mind the girls for two hours while he went to a class. He enlisted a childless student called Kyle Stock to take them to a café and a park. Kyle embraced the task as a learning experience, and later recounted these five points in his blog (www.businessorpleasure.wordpress.com):

1. It is much more difficult to understand Australian when it is spoken by a little person.

2. When a child stares at you with absolutely no expression, it means something has gone wrong (i.e. their milk is all over the floor and they are hoping you won’t notice).

3. The larger the cookie you buy a child, the more they like you.

4. If you have asked a child four times: “Do you have to pee?”, don’t hesitate to ask a fifth. 

5. Child will ignore wet pants quickly if you offer to time their splits on a tricycle lap.”

Have you ever had a funny babysitting experience? Please share …