Wading through the murk so you don’t have to …
Brad and Ange to marry next Saturday?
OK, so it’s not looking good for the Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie nuptials this weekend, but … Lainey Gossip says: “Well, to complicate matters, another French publication, Var-matin, claims that the wedding is actually NEXT weekend, on August 18, citing an unusual piece of evidence – the rescheduling of a food fair in the village which is supposed to mean that the townsfolk wanted to avoid a conflict of events. Wouldn’t the food fair benefit from the presence of all the international media? By the way, August 18 is the second luckiest day of the year: 8-1-8.”
All the hotels in the region must be loving it – swarms of paparazzi photographers twiddling their thumbs for weeks on end … waiting … hoping …
Taylor shows off her toyboy
Taylor Swift took Conor Kennedy to meet her parents in Nashville last week. I wonder if she had to get his daddy’s permission, Conor still being in high school and all.
DListed – ever the romantic – says: “The source also said that things between Taylor and Conor Kennedy are so serious that they’ve already said “I love you” to each other. Saying “I love you” doesn’t mean shit. When you’re an 18-year-old boy and a 13-year-old fairy girl trapped in the body of a 22-year-old woman, you say I love you to everyone! The only way we’ll really know if these two are serious about each other is if Taylor passes a note to Conor that reads “Do you want to go around with me? Circle yes or no” and he circles “yes” before passing it back. It’s the only way.”
Ethel Kennedy, Conor’s grandmother, and Rory Kennedy, Conor’s aunt, have already given Swift their seal of approval. “She’s a great friend of all of ours,” Rory said during the Television Critics Association panel in Beverly Hills on August 1. “She’s awesome and we love her.”
Lindsay’s hissy fit
Lindsay Lohan sashayed into a Los Angeles club called Bootsy Bellows last week and caused a whole mess of trouble when she spotted Clint Eastwood’s daughter, Francesca Eastwood celebrating her birthday.
Francesca (pictured above with sister Morgan; and kissing boyfriend Tyler Shields at her party) stars on her mother’s reality TV show, Mrs Eastwood & Co.
A source told US Weekly: “Francesca was celebrating her birthday with around a dozen friends in a private area when Lindsay came over and started screaming that Francesca should leave. She was yelling ‘I’m a star, she’s a nobody, get her out of here!'”
The source continued: “One poor guy came over and tried to calm [Lindsay] down and she acted aggressively. At that point the security told her to leave and it was totally embarrassing. She is acting like some bad ’80s film star, and it is hard to watch because she needs help.”
“I’m not sure what exactly sparked Lindsay’s outburst,” Eastwood has since commented. “Regardless, I still had an amazing birthday and Parent Trap is still my favorite movie.”
Jada calls Will “Boo”
Hold on a sec while I dry retch …
Phew, that’s better. OK … I don’t get pet names, except when they’re for pets. If you can’t help calling your beloved “Babycakes”, keep it private so the rest of us don’t develop type 2 diabetes from the sugar rush.
Hearing that JLo and Casper Smart refer to each other as “Bear” makes me queasy. Same goes for Jada Pinkett calling her husband Will Smith “Boo”, which she’s revealed in the latest Essence magazine.
The actress and mother to Trey, 19, Jaden, 14, and Willow, 11, uses the interview in Essence to try and dispel the rumors that she and Will are on the verge of breaking up. “We’re not getting a divorce. Where am I gonna go? Where am I going to go? That’s my Boo. It’s like he’s another part of me.”
Besides, Scientology couldn’t handle another celebrity divorce right now.
Jessica’s dad arrested
Jessica Simpson’s father Joe Simpson spent a night in jail last week for drink driving. TMZ reports: “According to law enforcement sources, 54-year-old Joe was busted on Ventura Blvd. in Sherman Oaks on August 4. We’re told LAPD cops pulled Joe’s car over around 10 PM … and during the stop, officers got the feeling he was intoxicated and ultimately cuffed the famous pop and took him to the pokey. Joe was booked and spent the rest of the night behind bars. He was released without having to post bail at 9:41 the following day.”
Dlisted says (always more entertaining): “When Jessica Simpson gets a call on the hot dog phone next to her bed in the middle of the night on a Saturday, it’s usually from a drunken Papa Joeasking her what she’s wearing. But on the night of August 4th, Papa Joe called Jessica Simpson on the hot dog phone next to her bed to ask her to pick him up from jail….and then he asked her what she was wearing … Maybe the cops figured Papa Joe was drunk, because when they walked up to his window, he told them to squeeze them titties together and shake, shake, shake ’em for daddy, bitch. That doesn’t mean Papa Joe’s drunk! Because both Jessica and Ashlee will tell you that he does that even when he’s sober.”
Where old TV stars go to die (of shame)
Beverly Hills 90210 stars Jennie Garth, Jason Priestley, Luke Perry and Gabrielle Carteris are starring in a series of TV commercials for an American clothing label called Old Navy (kind of like Cotton On except sold in massive warehouse-style stores)
In Old Navy’s alternate-reality ad, everyone on 90210 has become school teachers and none of their romantic trevails have been resolved. Kelly (Garth) is still choosing between Brandon (Priestley) and Dylan (Perry), and Andrea (Carteris) still wants Brandon.
Although she finally decides on Old Navy’s $19 jeans instead. “I choose jeans. All of them!” she declares.
It’s the kind of career decision you make when you no longer have a career … or dignity …
Watch the ad by clicking here.
housegoeshome 
Gabrielle Carteris looks like she’s had a lot of work done.