Husband caught a bad case of Family Fatigue Syndrome yesterday, brought on by too little sleep, one too many Dos Equus and a hunger-related altercation with the Sprogs.
He kept his cool during a $60 per hour family bike ride around Lake Burley Griffin in winds so icy they made my teeth ache. (Other bits of me ached too, wow bike seats are uncomfortable when you haven’t perched on them for 20 years.) Well, Husband didn’t actually get to ride around the lake. He spent the hour re-teaching Sprog 1 to ride a bike in front of Mr Spokes bike hire shop instead.
Afterwards, we trailed around Canberra’s city centre in search of a restaurant called Sammy’s Kitchen, which scored highly on Husband’s internet food critic of choice, urbanspoon.com.au. The Sprogs were highly resistant to the concept of Malaysian/Chinese food for lunch, they wanted sushi train. But the only sushi train we could find was rated “kill a brown dog” by urbanspoon.
When we finally tracked down the restaurant, the Sprogs whinged their heads off. They didn’t want spring rolls, they didn’t want fried rice, they didn’t want roti bread, they didn’t want satay sticks. Husband started looking quite murderous, so I thought it best to shut the menu and let him do the ordering.
Until he announced he was getting two noodle dishes. I couldn’t help wondering – out loud, foolishly – if that was wise. Would some noodles and a stir-fry not be a better choice? Husband’s eyes flashed, his tongue was acid, I told him to take a chill pill, he hissed that he was going to walk out of the restaurant … and the friend who happened to be dining with us decided to make himself busy at the other end of the table pouring water into glasses for the kids.
I was mortified. Going spazzy in front of friends in restaurants IS NOT ON. An awkward silence descended over the table. Husband ordered the two noodle dishes. I sat there secretly hating his guts and contemplating divorce while making polite small talk with our friend and pretending that everything was fine, nothing to see here, move along …
I still haven’t quite forgiven Husband, despite him buying me a glass riesling in the National Art Gallery instead of a hot chocolate on our post-lunch cultural excursion. Which I think was a peace offering. (Arty photo from sculpture garden attached.)
I hate to think what our friend told his wife when she called him later. I know how Husband and I oooh and ahhhh after we’ve witnessed couples having tiffs.
Completely mortified.
How about you? Do you ever fight with your partner in public?

OMG, that’s so funny. I start issuing long term threats to hubby if he embarrases me in public, that shuts him up quick smart…works for the kids too!
Might not be so funny when Husband reads it.