What Katie did next

I had a lovely gossipy ex-magazine editor lunch today. I met up with a dear friend and former New Idea editor and we nattered all things Tom, Katie and Nicole. It wasn’t much fun for Husband and the Sprogs, who also joined us, but I had a blast. The ex-New Idea editor is an expert on all things Nicole so we agreed to disagree on why Nicole didn’t fight as hard for her kids as Katie seems to be prepared to fight for Suri. I reckoned it was because she was too scared and too ambitious. Tom was pretty powerful back then and Nicole’s star was on the rise. My friend, however, felt Katie had many more advantages than Nicole. She said Tom sprung the divorce on Nicole, whereas Katie blindsided Tom. She also felt Katie’s matrimonial lawyer dad was a big plus, both from a legal and proximity perspective. Nicole had neither of those things. Nicole is keeping pretty quiet right now, but my friend pondered whether the two had been in touch for a bit of intelligence swapping.

(I could have Hollywood gossiped for hours, but felt obliged to include Husband and the Sprogs in the conversation, so we moved on to Sprog 1’s head wound and trumpet lessons, Sprog 2’s favourite stuffed toys and Husband’s work trevails.)

Meanwhile, Lainey Gossip continues to deliver the juicy goods. So I’m going to share today’s highlights with you. Please forgive me, non-Hollywood followers, I’m pathetically obsessed.

Actually, let’s start with yesterday’s statement by Tom Cruise’s lawyer, Bert Fields.”Tactically we can’t say where Tom will file a divorce case and if he’ll be seeking joint custody of Suri. We are letting the other side play the media until they wear everyone out and then we’ll have something to say.”

Bert, this isn’t a chess game. It’s a divorce. Ick. Tom, tell him to shut up, because he’s not doing your case any good.

And now, on to Lainey’s highlights …

* “Scientology head David Miscavige … was also the best man at their [Tom and Katie’s] wedding. Ex-Scientologists have been saying for years that he’s a brutal dictator. That he may or may not have abused his relatives. That his wife is missing and it’s because she wanted to leave him … Please paparazzi, please protect Katie.”

* “What if the Church can’t find any dirt on her [Katie]? What if they can’t manufacture a bogus secret lover? (Oh don’t tell me you don’t think they’ve been trying?)”

* “My sources tell me his agents, the studios, they’ve all very subtly suggested to him [Tom] that he needs to keep it dignified, and as quiet and civilised as possible. They are trying to assure him that he can let her go and bounce back from this, no problem. That they will help him. That they are confident it can be done.”

* “What’s so brilliant about Katie’s playbook is how subtle it was. All she had to do was file for divorce out of the blue and demand sole custody for Suri. One phone call to PEOPLE magazine to say she’s only concerned for her daughter’s “wellbeing” and everyone else did all the rest work. Her move gave licence to the media outlets to immediately blame Scientology for whatever it was that she was getting away from. From there the narrative writes itself: the caring, gentle mother vs the devil-worshipping movie star, the brave dimpled single parent vs the big bad cult.”

Geez I love this stuff. You couldn’t make it up. WHO magazine needed 15 pages to cover it. And that was before Bert made his touching statement. Loving!