Life has been pretty cold, wet, dreary and uneventful lately. And I have shocking PMT. I need cheering up. So I’m going to tell you about seeing Hugh Jackman naked. In real life. That always makes me smile. (It’s working already! I’m grinning like a madwoman in a shopping centre food court, exiled from my home by the cleaners, shivering because I was so busy getting the Sprogs ready for school photo day – “No, Sprog 1, you can’t wear the uniform with charcoal stains all over it; I said the FRILLY socks Sprog 2” – that I forgot to bring a jacket with me.) So there I was, interviewing Hugh Jackman. Interviewing people isn’t my strength, I’m hopeless with questions. I compensate by talking about myself a lot. The celebrities find me endlessly fascinating. Not. It’s also frustrating when I transcribe my tapes and discover I haven’t let the famous person get a word in. I think that’s why I started blogging. No intelligent questions to ask, just self-absorbed blather. Anyway, the interview was during a photo shoot at a restaurant. The restaurant was closed and the owner had trustingly given us the keys. Hugh was LOVELY. Totally unassuming. Perfectly happy to change outfits in full view of the entire crew. And that’s how I saw Hugh naked. But it’s not the funny part of the story. The photographer was having a bad day, boyfriend break-up or health scare or something. She took a bottle of wine from the bar and guzzled it. Then she opened another. It became increasingly hard for her to focus the camera. Her assistant had to do it for her. Being young and nervous, I decided it was the fashion editor’s job to pull the photographer into line. She was young and nervous too. So we both just sat back and watched the drama unfold. The photographer slurringly requested that Hugh stare into her lens and “give me that look you get when you’re just about to come.” Everyone in the room froze and stopped breathing. Except the photographer, who slugged a bit more wine. Hugh’s eyes went all flinty. He did not give the photographer the look he gets when he’s just about to come. (Pity, I’d have quite liked to see it.) He didn’t say a word. Then his eyes went all nice and Hughie again, he struck another ultra-professional pose and pretended it hadn’t happened. He didn’t shout, “Oi, useless publicist, get your butt over here and scream at this drunken mess of a photographer. She just asked me to show her my cum face.” The room gratefully exhaled. Not funny at the time, but it’s provided endless dinner party banter for me since.
I could do with another laugh. Do you have a funny celebrity encounter to tell?
housegoeshome 
Hilarious. I wanna know who the photographer was now.
That might get me sued
Wish I’d have been there on Hugh Jackman naked day.
Mine’s not as funny as yours. Whilst living in London I met quite a few celebs one of which was Mel Gibson in the early 90’s. He came in to have dinner at the restaurant I was working at. The girl at the front desk (Lorraine) almost passed out at the sight of him so she had to go lie down. I showed him and his wife to the table. Asked whether he wanted a nice cold beer (being an Aussie after all) but instead he wanted a decaffeinated cappuccino (as he was on or off the wagon, can’t remember which one now). I told him when he finished his dinner he needed to go up to Lorraine and tell her he had a great night. Being a great sport, he did, and Lorraine needed to go and have another lie down. It seems that old Mel expects to get complimentary meals wherever he goes, so he goes out without his wallet. That night he got a complimentary meal.
Celebs are a funny breed. They don’t know what to do if your not falling over them and taking the piss out of them (which I did quite often).
I remember one other time, Bill Murray’s publicist called wanting a table on a Friday night. We were quite heavily booked so I told him that there were no tables and he would have to call back for a cancellation. The poor fellow kept repeating the name Bill Murray like it was supposed to mean something to me. I told him I didn’t know who Bill Murray was. He then proceeded to tell me that Bill Murray was an actor and rant of the movies that he was in. I told him that I didn’t watch movies and that he would have to call back for a cancellation, and hung up.
No, no, that’s funny. Made me snorkle. Love ’em. Thanks Bea!!!
I was in hairdressing in London in the late 80’s and early 90’s and can tell many celeb. stories that the celebs would not want to see published like Bea’s. So it’s really heart warming to read your story Alana, especially as I plan to marry him when his oh too good and perfect wife decides she should share! The the rest of us need to experience the fact that there are perfect men out there, don’t we? Or maybe even Hugh leaves his clothes and shoes abandond in the middle of the living room, farts in bed cos he thinks it’s funny and believes his hangover is always worse than yours so you should get up and deal with the children you forgot you had last night.
Now, even though you didn’t spill your secrets about celebs, the ones about your husband are funny enough that I forgive you.
Gabrielle, I have heaps of these stories. They always make me laugh when I think back on them. As far as I was concerned, unless they had horns growing out of their heads or green blood running through their veins, they were no different to anyone else. The ones that thought they were special got extra special (piss taken out of them) treatment.
And now tell us about his naked body please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
100% magnificent
omg!!!! I envy you so much!!!!!!! when was it?? recently??
Nah, YEARS ago. So he was even cuter.