A year ago this week, I got the deeds to my seventh property, the first one with just my name on the title. It was a bittersweet day. I was excited to have something that was all my own, to decorate however I pleased, renovate how I choose. But it was also a stark... Continue Reading →

"You do look a bit pregnant," the eldest ventured last night. "Yes," I replied/sighed. "My doctor suggested I call it Freddy the Fibroid." I think it's a measure of how much I've desensitised the eldest that she laughed rather than recoiled in horror. Normally such a statement would be greeted with screeches of "Mum! No!... Continue Reading →

As I sat sponging my nine-year-old's back with an oatmeal-soaked cloth at 11.30pm last night, I felt pretty tired and alone. The poor petal had an allergic reaction to something and was covered in an awful, itchy rash. I tried everything to soothe her: antihistamines, cortisone cream, paw paw ointment, an oatmeal bath ... She... Continue Reading →

I didn't have the mongrel fur babies on Friday night, I paid Marlene the local retiree dog-sitter to have them because I was off to trip the light fantastic at The Entrance Leagues Club. Many moons ago I'd booked tickets to see Pete Murray - my post-separation muso of choice. He barely registered on my... Continue Reading →

Blardy hell it was hot yesterday. So. Stinking. Hot. I sweated my way to the hospital for an icky pelvic ultrasound, which revealed my 4cm fibroid has grown merrily over the past year and is now a 9cm fibroid. Downside: I'm going back to the gyno on Monday to try and stave off muffler-removal-through-tailpipe surgery.... Continue Reading →

My house is a total sty ... insomnia is being a bore/boar ... and some beastly lady plumbing procedures are being performed on me this morning ... so it seems appropriate that I recall the day, exactly one year ago, that the universe sent me a pig. I wish I’d known the universe was sending me a pig... Continue Reading →

Say what you like about the hideous death spiral that ended of my marriage, there's no denying the beginning was BRILLIANT. I decreed there would be none of the traditional frippery - no frothy wedding dress, no wedding cake, no wedding cars, no bridesmaids, no sit-down meal, no wedding video. But I wore a custom-made Collette... Continue Reading →

Yesterday, one of my fur babies got his paws on a letter I'd received and gaily ran into the yard to tear it to shreds. As I chased after him I skidded to a halt behind the trampoline and gaped. Those rat cunning little bastards have extensively excavated the lawn behind the trampoline. I hadn't... Continue Reading →

Faaaaaaar out, my weekend was CRAZY. Saturday was spent prepping, hosting and cleaning up after the eldest's 12th Doctor Who Luau party. Then I hooned to a 50th birthday party at Gosford RSL. Then I hooned home again ... perhaps a little too enthusiastically ... and got pinged by a speed camera. At 9am on... Continue Reading →

A fun time was had by all the eldest's 12th birthday party, which rocked a Doctor Who luau theme. Confession: I'd totally forgotten the Doctor wore a lei in one episode, but the above image came in extremely handy for the invitations. The weather was grey and overcast, but that didn't bother the tweens in... Continue Reading →