Sliding doors

The eldest went out for dinner and a movie with his dad last night and I felt a twinge of sadness.

Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for them to be catching up.

But it reminded me of the losses that we incur in a divorce, aside from the financial price that we pay.

When we were an un-divorced family we loved going to the movies together.

These days I don’t score an invite. Instead, I waved the eldest goodbye as his dad waited downstairs to collect him.

They were off to see 28 Years Later, the third film in a series that started with 28 Days Later.

28 Days Later was released in 2002, when I was newly married and living in Singapore. I probably went to see it with my ex at a cinema there. I can’t remember the exact location, but I know we both loved it.

The post-apocalyptic horror film was directed by Danny Boyle (of Trainspotting fame) and written by Alex Garland. It starred Cillian Murphy as a bicycle courier who wakes from a coma in a deserted hospital to discover that the accidental release of a highly contagious, aggression-inducing virus has caused the breakdown of society.

I didn’t realise it was a very young Cillian in the film, I thought he appeared out of nowhere to star in Peaky Blinders and Oppenheimer.

Anyways, 28 Days Later was an eerie, disturbing, unforgettable piece of cinema.

28 Weeks Later came out in 2007, when I was still married. We saw that one together too.

Our love affair with apocalyptic/zombie movies continued even as our real-life affection for each other began to fade. I remember going to the movies to see World War Z with my ex and literally shaking as I left the cinema.

I would have loved to go with my ex and the eldest to see 28 Years Later last night and have a bite to eat together.

But that is no longer my shared world. I usually only hear from my ex these days when one of our kids needs help or money or both.

I don’t generally give his gradual fading from my life much thought. But last night reminded me of what the sliding doors alternative world might have looked like if we’ve managed to keep our love alive.

I’m looking forward to getting the lowdown on the film from the eldest tonight.

In two days he’ll be heading back to Melbourne and I’m not ready for him to go.

Song of the day: Taylor Swift “Bad blood”