Secret sauce

Long-time HouseGoesHome followers may recall that I once went semi-viral after writing a blog post about a woman who made her fortune by writing erotic novels about sex with dinosaurs.

After discovering the weird reason why the post went semi-viral, I wrote another blog post about THAT, which went even more sort of viral and became an infamous topic of conversation during my first date with DD.

(Just in case you don’t know the details on this one, a TV show called Blackish mentioned a naughty sex position/act/move called the triceratops in an episode and I happened to be one of the top/only search results on Google for “sex + triceratops”.)

To date more than 49,000 people have clicked on the second post and been disappointed to discover it does not reveal the secret to performing the triceratops position/act/move.

Last week I published a story on Drinks Digest about XXXX beer releasing a tropical lager that supports the Great Barrier Reef.

More than 71,000 people – mainly from Indian, Pakistan and Bangladesh – had clicked on the post by 11pm last night – I presume in search of porn – and been disappointed to discover it is a story about beer.

One of them even emailed me with the subject line of “xxxx” and no message. Not sure what they were trying to say, but hopefully they were being ironic rather than sending me an invitation.

I accidentally discovered many years ago that XXXX is the … ahem … route to viral clicks.

I was Google searching for pics of XXXX for a story about the beer and got some eye-popping results. I also noticed that stories about XXXX beer would often go gangbusters. I put two and two together and got XXXX.

Google Console sent me a congratulations email a few days on surpassing 35,000 clicks in 30 days, bless its poor, clueless heart.

The rest of my weekend was far more sedate …

Bwahahahaha … As if!

It was loco.

I was going to have a Christmas dinner with the kids on Saturday night, but the eldest had worked 22 hours in two days and was cactus, while the youngest was in hospital again.

So I postponed it to Sunday lunch. I collected the youngest from hospital in between making gingerbread stuffing and putting the turkey on to roast.

I also made roast potatoes, sweet potato fries, shaved brussel spout and bacon salad, brown rice salad and corn on the cob. We had lunch, opened presents, ate pudding, then DD and I made a lightning speed dash to Newcastle for a Christmas party.

We had to come back late Sunday night because I am working today and may be required to wrangle a journalist in the city.

I won’t know for a few hours yet, so any hopes of working from the northern beaches and squeezing in a swim at lunchtime have been dashed.

Sad face.

One more day to go til I’m on hols! Hopefully there’s a break on your horizon too.

Song of the day: Berlin “Sex”