The Tao of Sarah

How was your weekend? Mine was very wet. The drive to drop off furniture for the youngest’s first share house was super stressful.

I couldn’t see properly out of the rear vision mirror due to all the stuff in the back of the car and the rain was teeming down. There were moments that I said a short prayer, changed lanes and just hoped for the best.

When I complained to the youngest she pointed out that the car has sensors that would have beeped if I tried to change lanes into another car.

Ah. Good point. Handy. Thank you.

I hope climate change doesn’t mean endless rain is our new normal – it never seems to stop in Sydney.

My cheeks were also wet for a surprising reason: a LinkedIn post. LinkedIn posts do not traditionally result in tears, they are normally about promotions and company announcements.

But I was scrolling through my favourite social media channel – I like it because it is largely polite and informative – when I saw a post from a grieving husband.

It said:

Sharing some sad news.

On Saturday, June 1, my wife Sarah Mandel died after a nearly 7-year battle with cancer. She was just 42, with so much more to give. 

She was such an inspiration to me and so many others that I feel compelled to write about her here.

While Sarah initially pursued a career in the arts, she found her true calling in helping people navigate mental health challenges. As a clinical psychologist with a Doctorate degree, she helped patients with depression and anxiety, with a particular focus on maternal mental health.

Then, at age 36 – and while pregnant with our second child – she was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer, which changed everything.

But she never stopped wanting to be a positive force for others. In the years that followed her diagnosis, she wrote her memoir, entitled “Little Earthquakes“, which has helped many readers heal from traumas in their own lives.

And in a classic Sarah move, she saved a great surprise for the end. Without telling anyone it was coming she had a moving personal video posted on social media after her death that has already received over 1 million views and touched the hearts of so many.

Beyond all this, what will forever inspire me was Sarah’s positive spirit. Being kind and loving was just a way of life for her. She was the type of person who would even make friends on the phone with a cable company’s customer service. Every interaction carried warmth and love. Her sparkle and smile were contagious.

I learned so much from her over our 22 years together and from what I can only describe as the Tao of Sarah. Choosing to be kind, when faced with the alternative. Remembering to smile. Sharing your story.  Being open. Saying hi and chatting to strangers. Loving the life we’ve got and making the most of every day.  Being undaunted by challenges. Finding ways to slow down and be at peace. And knowing friends and family are everything.

And to not forget to eat well, love art, plant trees, and always go in the water.

I can think of no better way to honor Sarah than to take a moment today to appreciate life. Stop and smell the flowers. Be nice to a random person. Do something unusually kind. And smile and laugh with those you love most.

I love the Tao of Sarah. I think it is how we should aspire to live. Although finding ways to slow down and be at peace is still a work in progress for me.

Grab your Kleenex and watch the video Sarah created to be posted after she died here: https://www.tiktok.com/@sarahmandelauthor/video/7375588707711192362

As for my first glimpse of the youngest’s uni digs … my first glimpse of any uni digs … they weren’t what I was expecting. Dim and clinical, a bit like an old hospital wing.

I am not sad she’s moving out.