Special delivery

I’ve mastered many skills in my life, but there’s a long list of stuff I’m just not good at: putting needles on records, saying no, learning to swim, driving manual cars, eating peas, ordering Uber Eats …

In regard to the last one, I can’t bring myself to get a badly paid person pick up my Maccas for me. Yet I find myself madly in love with a new service from JB HiFi. For a $5 charge they will same-day deliver your stuff to your door.

I had a bad experience with Kmart’s click and collect service and I’ve heard horror stories about Bunnings and Target, so I reckon $5 is well spent to avoid driving to a shopping centre and standing masked in a queue for half an hour.

The first thing I had delivered by JB was a $250 Oppo phone for the eldest. I am very fortunate that only one of my children is an Apple addict.

Then I ordered the third season of Twin Peaks. The eldest and I have powered through the two original seasons of Twin Peaks in recent weeks, so we decided to splash out on the 2017 reboot.

It has been FREAKING US OUT … not because it is off-the-charts weird (it’s very, very weird) but because one minute everyone looked so fresh faced and young and the next minute they were grey and on the brink of death. Literally. Log Lady, Doc Hayward and Albert all passed away during or shortly after filming – Log Lady filmed her last scene four days before dying of cancer – and there’s a long list of other stars who are no longer with us.

The eldest and I sit through each episode going NO WAY that can’t be James! NO WAY that can’t be Shelly! NO WAY that can’t be Bobby!

It’s very unsettling and I literally keep gasping in shock.

Although Leland Palmer looks oddly like he’s only aged five years and a dye job has done wonders for Agent Dale Cooper.

Meanwhile, it’s been so long since some of the stars have acted that they appear to have lost the knack, or maybe director David Lynch told them to be a bit weird and wooden?

I am awed that Lynch managed to get more than 30 of the cast back for season three, 25 years later. I wonder if it was in their original contracts?

Did you know Agent Dale Cooper – aka Kyle McLachlan – is currently in Australia? He looks a bit more crinkly around the edges with grey hair. He’s filming Joe Exotic, which is shooting in Brisbane. He plays Howard Baskin in the upcoming US series.

DD showed me some of the TikToks that Kyle filmed while in hotel quarantine. The New Daily described them as “hilarious” but they kind of messed with the memory for me. He’s a dad-joking dork!

As for my verdict on the third series of Twin Peaks, I’m not sure yet. We’re up to the sixth episode and I still have no idea what’s going on. But Rolling Stone says it’s a “masterpiece” and assures me episode 8 is an “atom bomb” of an hour, so maybe I’ll start loving it soon.

I totally recommend JB’s $5 delivery service though.

Song of the day: Marrs “Put the needle on the record”