I left my heart …

I’ve been very, very jealous of DD over the past week. He’s been in San Francisco for a conference. Lucky him.

We were in San Francisco together five months ago … Sigh.

I loved the city, it felt very Sydney and non-intimidating and fun.

And I loved being there with him.

DD and I had the most wonderful holiday in the United States. We were a little worried about how we’d go spending 24 hours a day together, but it was lovely.

We were worried for a few reasons: we don’t usually spend more than a few hours together and we are very different people.

I’m waaaay more out there with my emotions than him. My heart is constantly (splattered) on my sleeve. He’s impulsive, I’m not. I like to plan, he likes to wing it. I like to chatter, he’s a man of few words. He pretends to be tidy, I don’t.

We had even less in common when we first met. He liked live music and cycling and kayaking. I soooooo didn’t, but my enmity is fading.

We’ve had some crazy stand-offs over my refusal to try new things. I was stubbornly insistent that so many activities remain on the never-ever list.

I think it’s born from fear of my life spiralling out of control. Keeping a tight rein on stuff is my coping mechanism.

The first word on my tongue when he suggests something new is invariably “no.”

I don’t know when I got so closed minded or whether I’ve always been this way, but I’m determined to change. So, when he says “Let’s go snowmobiling” I say yes. And when he says let’s go camping at a music festival” I say yes. And when he says “Let’s go ocean paddleboarding” I say yes. And when he says “Let’s do a spontaneous water taxi tour of Vivid Sydney” I say yes.

Even though that little voice in my head is saying “nooooooooo!”

And invariably we have a bulk fun time.

In fact, I’m having the most unexpected, almost-50 time of my life.

Sometimes I mourn that I didn’t get the chance to be young with DD. But he’s not sure we’d have been attracted to each other back then. The stories I tell him about younger me put him off slightly!

He also spent most of his youth working like an absolute navvy to put himself through university twice and provide for his family.

There wasn’t much time for romantic weekends away or lazy floats in the surf with his girlfriend before work.

While we’re very different people, we’re similar in the fact we’d lost sight of our own happiness mattering. It had been shuffled into the too-hard basket as the pressures of life took over.

Now it’s back on the agenda. Sure, it makes way for the demands of parenting and work, but each week we find ways to add joy.

And I am so very happy he’s my love … Not to mention beyond thrilled that he’s back home this morning.

PS Bless him, he’s been sending me photos all week in case I can use them on Drinks Trade Instagram … And also to reminisce about our own short sojourn in the city. He’s pretty good with an iPhone camera … Here are his happy snaps:

Song of the day: Tony Bennett “I left my heart in San Francisco”


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