Ever read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy? I’m currently reciting a chapter of it each night to the kids. The eldest thinks it’s hilarious, the youngest does headstands the whole time and cheerfully admits she has no idea what’s going on.
I’m particularly enamoured with the Babel fish.
Here’s what the Hitchhikers Guide has to say about the Babel fish:
The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and probably the oddest thing in the Universe. It feeds on brainwave energy received not from its own carrier, but from those around it. It absorbs all unconcious mental frequencies from this brainwave energy to nourish itself with. It then excretes into the mind of its carrier a telepathic matrix formed by combining the conscious thought frequencies with nerve signals picked up from the speech centres of the brain which has supplied them. The practical upshot of all this is that if you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. The speech patterns you actually hear decode the brainwave matrix which has been fed into your mind by your Babel fish.
It got me thinking: it would save soooooooo much trouble if someone invented a dating fish. A dating fish would feed on brainwave energy received not only from its own carrier, but from those around it, with the practical upshot of instantly knowing whether other people are available.
I’ve been doing a lot of looking around at people lately, wondering whether they are single. I check them out in the supermarket, at the gym, in bars … and who would bloody know their status? I’d like a little dating fish in my ear to alert me as to whether men are a) single and b) potentially compatible.
Don’t you think that would make single life soooooooooo much easier?
How soon did you start dating again after being with the same person for 23 years? Sorry … is that question too specific?
Song of the day: Roxy Music “Love is the drug (and I need to score)”
PS: I particularly needed a dating fish after spotting this on Facebook last night …
“My own personal gardener. 12 years together and he still makes my heart smile! Happy Sunday afternoon, everyone!”
Bloody hell.
housegoeshome 
I loved Hitchhikers Guide as a child and the TV series too. Yes, I think a babel/dating fish would be extremely useful! And re your dating question: I think the answer is just – when you’re ready. I have been extremely slow in “being ready” though – I’ve been separated almost four years! Divorce coming soon. Maybe I should get onto that online dating thing. Meanwhile, I’ve got my shirtless eye-candy neighbours across the road – I wrote a post about them. What a wonderful gardener! sigh…
Everyone says online dating is the only way to go. It scares me senseless.
I know! Scary… Sorry, I’m not much help! I hear you though.
My marriage was only thirteen years but there were five children born during that time so it felt like 23. Um… I’d leave a link to a post that tells my story but I don’t want to spam your comments. I think it was called The Unpossible (sic).
Googled it. Loved it.