My mother sailed off on yet another cruise yesterday (bye-bye inheritance). She went with her best friend, Barb, who she’s know since she was 12. We held a bon voyage barbie at my sister’s house in their honour. The haloumi and chorizo salad was awesome. As we sipped Oyster Bay sparkling, Mum advised her friend on cruise etiquette: “Janet said to warn you not to lick the bar. It’s made of ice. If you do lick it, she said to pour a martini over your tongue to get it off.”
Seventy-year-olds. Licking bars made of ice. Buying martinis to loosen their tongues.
There are no words. Actually, there are three. Handily abbreviated to one …
WTF?
What’s your mum been up to lately?
housegoeshome 
Mine is licking bars made of ice and using a good martini as an excuse!
Leading mine astray …
That’s hilarious! Can you imagine what must go on on these cruises!? Do they follow a bro code, ‘what happens at sea stays at sea’?
That’s so funny! I only hope I am doing the same at 70. Go Grannies!
It does offer hope for our twilight years.