As I squatted on a nature strip the other night, wiping Sprog 1’s dog-poo-covered sandal on the wet grass, I cursed its deep treads. As I sniffed the floor of the car for stinky bits, I cursed the person who didn’t pick up their dog’s poo after it was extruded. As I realised Sprog 1 had trodden on her new library book with the dog-poo-covered sandal … I breathed a huge sigh of relief that Husband was finally home and made it his problem.
Aside from chipping me about how late I was running with my household duties of cooking dinner and putting the Sprogs to bed – brave man – Husband was quite stoic about scrubbing the dog poo off the library book. It’s still sitting on the kitchen bench where he left it. Every time I walk past, I contemplate moving it somewhere more appropriate but I just can’t bring myself to touch it. I’m saving my revulsion for when I adjourn to the nature strip again, this time with a stick, to scrape the rest of the dog poo out of the crevices of Sprog 1’s sandal that the wet grass didn’t reach. I wish I could just throw the filthy thing away, but it cost me $190, so I feel quite fiscally attached to it.
(Before you shake your head in dismay at me for spending that much on a pair of shoes for a child, Sprog 1 has size 36 feet and children’s shoe manufacturers – in their infinite wisdom – do not appear to make sensible sandals in that size, so I went to Ecco to get some and neglected to ask how much they were until they’d rung them up at the till – or whatever the new term is for computery payment contraptions – and I was too embarrassed to say I’d changed my mind.)
Sprog 1 has been copping it lately. I went absolutely mental at her that morning because she’d forgotten it was library day and misplaced her library book in her festy garbage dump of a room. My voice was raised, my eyes were flashing. The book-misplacement palaver happens every single farking week. And I am OVER IT. That very afternoon she lost her art-class sketchbook. Cue further ranting from Mummy about taking better care of her possessions.
Oh, and don’t get me started – yet again – on her inability to flush the farking toilet or put her dirty undies in the laundry basket instead of decorating her bedroom, the family room and lounge room with them.
It’s weeks like these that make me wish she got pocket money so I could bloody well dock it. But she doesn’t, so I can’t. Should she get pocket money (so I can bloody well dock it)? When do you start giving kids pocket money? Don’t they just spend it on plastic crap they never play with and lollies? When can you trust your child to be responsible with their money and dirty undies? I could do with some guidance right now.
housegoeshome 
I’m in no position to offer guidance, but my baby boy pood in the bath last night if that makes you feel any better. I’m sure it doesn’t cos you’ve probably been there too when the Sprogs were younger. Disinfecting 500 plastic sea creatures, the boy and his sister (also in the bath) was one of the less joyful parenting experiences. Lucky they’re cute the rest of the time eh?
We had a rule when we lived out in the country, “If it’s yellow let mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” Unfortunately my children must be colour blind and haven’t yet realised that we now live in town. The number of floaters I have found a day or so later (the kids toilet is down near their rooms, they aren’t allowed to use our toilet for this reason!) I have lost count of. And lets not get started on bedrooms and undies.
The boys do get pocket money -they feed the animals and take out the bin and recycling. I do stockpile it for them and when they have $20 they can spend it. They tend to then not spend it on little crap and lollies, just Lego and other bits of plastic that get stuck in your feet.
Unfortunately the kids toilet is also the visitors toilet and the SHAME when I forget to check it before people come over.
Why do dog owners think it is OK to leave their dog poo in front of other peoples houses – it drives me completely insane!! Every time we want to walk the 1m from our front gate to our car we have to dodge around poo’s of all shapes and sizes. YUK – it is completely disgusting!!! … we started pocket money about a year ago, although I’m not sure if they’ve ever actually received any yet – they are too untidy (so it’s obviously not working in our household)!!
Don’t think it would work in our household either. Though someone told me last night they should just do chores because its part of being a family, not because they’re being paid.
Roger that, loud and clear. Master 6 managed to lose a brand-new-never-been-used-drink bottle while walking from the kitchen to the garage. Poof, gone, into the ether with all the lost socks. Never to be seen again. And as for the bathrooms, I had an (embarrassing) little tanty on Saturday along the lines of “why-do-I-spend-half-my-day-on-my-knees-scrubbing-this-freaking-bathroom-floor-because-its-covered-in-wee?” Best not to think too much about it – it will just break your head. Break open some good quality chocolate and pour a strong coffee. Xxx