I am doing many strange things today. Like making a cake that looks like a cauldron, filling it with plastic eyeballs and lolly snakes, then sloshing icing “soup” around them. It’s the centrepiece for Sprog 1’s “gross” birthday party tomorrow. Such creative endeavours are not my forte, so I’m slightly nervous. I have lots of big ideas, but not a drop of artistic blood flows through my veins. It didn’t stop me doing three-unit art for the HSC – I was good on the theory – but it did restrict me to a collage for my major work (painting, sculpting, drawing and photography all being beyond me). When the birthday cake is finished – bugger, just realised I don’t have any candles – I’ll bake cupcakes and decorate them with plastic flies. Then I’ll inject pitted dates with cream cheese and poke chives into the ends as cockroach “antennaes” (see pic above, disgusting huh?). I’m also making a bowl of olive “bugs” with rosemary leaves for legs. I need to put squares of white icing and dollops of jam onto 50 wafers for the “used Band-aid” biscuits. I have to fill a plastic skull with hummus dip (top of skull is missing, so can’t do guacamole “vomit” coming out of its mouth as planned). I’m wondering whether to mix pink food colouring into the hummus, then pipe it into the skull for a more authentic edible brain experience. Too much? Finally, I’m grilling 44 sausages and cooking 44 little bits of fingernail-shaped onion to create severed fingers. Husband is concerned the party spread will look “satanistic”. I’m more worried about it being too scary to eat – it’s not your standard 8-year-old girl’s birthday party fare (understatement). So I’ve bought four large bags of potato chips as back-up. But generally I’m gleeful about how revolting the overall effect will be (and how much Sprog 1 will love it). I just need to get that cake looking vaguely cauldron-like. Deep breath … wish me luck!
TONIGHT’S DINNER: Baked salmon with leftover curry sauce and mango pickles.
housegoeshome 
Leave a comment