Force feeding

It has not been a joy to return from the indolence and indulgence of my Melbourne getaway to force feeding one of my dogs tablets twice a day and wrestling the other dog to the ground to put ointment on his eyeballs three times a day.

Get a dog they said, it will be fun they said. Get another dog they said, it will be double the fun they said.

They being my children who, by the end of January, will have both abandoned me to solo dog wrangling.

Bilbo has been very resistant to taking tablets following his anal gland operation. I tried wrapping them in cheese, I tried wrapping them in mince. He spat them all out.

I tried holding his jaw shut and rubbing his throat. He stubbornly refused to swallow and pushed them out between his teeth with his tongue.

I finally happened upon the magic Christmas ingredient: rolling the tablets in shaved turkey.

Gobble, gobble!

It has been very “why mummy drinks” except mummy has vowed to only drink while socialising.

So mummy must be strong.

She should also vow to eat half as much as she normally does because mummy is getting very chonky while not exercising due to her gammy hip.

It’s making me feel a bit elderly to have a gammy hip and now a gammy thumb, which I have splinted against my second finger to see if that eases the pain.

The ancient feelings were enhanced during my trip to Melbourne … and not just because I ate a senior’s meal at the pub.

On just about every tram ride I took, someone stood up to give me a seat.

I know they were trying to be nice but it was very disconcerting that they thought I was so old that I needed to sit down.

I am hoping to look a bit younger after my Christmas break. My office shuts down from 20 December to 6 January. I am holding the fort on 23 December on the on-call roster, then I am kicking back.

No blogging, no Drinks Digest, no paid work.

Can’t bloody wait!

Are you having time off over Christmas?

Song of the day: Paul McCartney “Wonderful Christmastime”