After 22 solid days of drinking I finally managed to give myself a cracker hangover on the last day of my holiday. Well done Alana. I felt quite grim, even a mixed barbecue lunch, giant Diet Coke and cut-price shoes for every member of the family at a discount warehouse didn't dull the nausea. (Sprog... Continue Reading →

Hmmmm, that's a tough one. We've done some amazing trips with the Sprogs in tow. But the "for" list has always been balanced out by an "against" list. And I've been wondering, after dragging two moaning, complaining Sprogs to the gorgeous Kailua Beach for a swim, then to a lovely Japanese temple in the hinterland,... Continue Reading →

On balance, Waikele Outlet Mall isn't totally awesome. If I had my druthers, I'd be transported via Tardis to the outlet mall in New Jersey. It had a much better Barneys (Penguin Original for women rocks); and a fabulous Lucky Brand outlet (yes, yes, I know 75% of the stuff there is naff, but 25%... Continue Reading →

I've hit the ground running in Waikiki. The sales are amazing! The Ala Moana Shopping Centre is heaven (I'm particularly fond of all the middle-aged men wheeling their dogs around in prams.) Best score yesterday? (Aside from an $11 camping mattress from Walmart for Sprog 2 to sleep on.) A full-length striped Gap dress and... Continue Reading →

I went to Victoria's Secret yesterday. It was fabulous. They measured me and I've miraculously transformed from a B cup to a D cup since the last time I bought a bra. Admittedly the last time I bought a bra was several years and eight kilos ago, but ... Still quite exciting. I've never thought... Continue Reading →

1. That I haven't been ripped off by a Nigerian con-artist. Six months ago, I sent a $1200 cheque to a bloke called Norm Tetu. I found Norm on website where people buy and sell timeshare weeks. I bought his week at a Waikiki apartment complex. And I've worried ever since that it was a... Continue Reading →

All these holiday snapshots are doing my head in. I don't recognize the middle-aged woman in them. Who the hell is she? She can't possibly be me. Because if it's me ... Fark! I am so old. I am dark-circled, hollow-eyed. I am lined. I am past it. I don't want to be this person.... Continue Reading →

Oh what a night! Busting moves at the Starquest Nightclub with The Threesome girls. You Spin Me Round Like A Record. Blue Monday. A revolving bar. (At first I thought I'd had too much champagne, but no, the bar really goes round and round.) Bulk as fun. Sister shouted in my ear, wondering what we... Continue Reading →

I'm writing this poolside during the Men's Bellyflop Championship. Some damn fine bellies on display. I will upload an action shot when I get home. You'll just have to use your imagination for now. Eight hefty male passengers take turns climbing onto a podium and flinging themselves at 180 degree angles into the water, landing... Continue Reading →