Sprog 1's room will be the death of me. Yesterday I threatened to make it the death of her. My exact words when I picked her up from school were: "I cleaned your room yesterday for the last time. If it gets messy again I will kill you ... or throw all your stuff away."... Continue Reading →

I'm wading through the murk so you don't have to. Here are today's juicy bits a la Housegoeshome ... WHAT WERE SOUTH AFRICAN MARIE CLAIRE THINKING? Just in case you couldn't tell, the magazine has photoshopped Princess Kate’s head onto a model’s body as part of a tribute by South African designers to their Princess.... Continue Reading →

If you're a Housegoeshome regular, you will be aware that I am mildly nuts. Not as loopy as the woman who harasses the checkout chicks at my local IGA, demanding they admire her aura and explain why a Hollywood celebrity hasn't swept her off her feet yet - but gently cuckoo. If you are new to the blog, let me give... Continue Reading →

TomKat's divorce has my gossip juices following again. I've got stars in my eyes. I'm thinking about doing some regular Hollywood blog posts at housegoeshome. All the juicy bits, without having to wade around in the murk. What do you reckon? Workshop it with me. I can't decide whether to just have the occasional spray, like I... Continue Reading →

I find myself, at age 44 - not 43 as I whimsically suggested on Sunday - in need of artificial stimulants to get me through the day. Around lunchtime the weariness starts to set in. MUST. GET. DIET. COKE. Thanks to my friends, I've been subjected to enough depressing posts on Facebook to know Diet Coke isn't a healthy beverage. So... Continue Reading →

As the weekly magazines try to squeeze the last drops of sweet nectar from the TomKat divorce, judging the The Mag I Bought This Week Award gets tricky. Dare I say it, but I’m slightly fatigued by the drama. I think I’m reaching a point where I just want to see photos of Katie picking... Continue Reading →

I went to jail yesterday. With a crashing hangover. It was ace. I took a Unisom the night before. It's a great way to avoid the 2am dry horrors, because you're so dribblingly unconscious you don't notice them. You just have to hope kidney failure - or whatever mixing Unisom and alcohol might cause - doesn't set in. I'm thinking it might be... Continue Reading →

Eight-year-olds are funny, contradictory creatures. Well, mine is anyway. She reads Goosebumps books, likes vampire dolls and loves the idea of zombies, even though Dad won't let her see any movies containing them. And yet she still sleeps in Tinkerbell pyjamas and creates art installations with her soft toys at night. Who needs the Biennale when you can wake up... Continue Reading →

I remember being a primary school kid and discovering my mother was 34. I was dazzled by how old it seemed. At 18, I was in awe of the journalists in my first newsroom. Most would have only been in their mid-20s, but they seemed so mature. When I was in my early 20s, I worked with a brigade of blokes in their mid... Continue Reading →