the end was just the beginning
I was in the attic on Monday night, searching for the photo of me with Stripper Santa. I got really freaked out. My panic initially revolved around where the effing hell the Stripper Santa photo had gone. Are you one of those people that if they lose something are incapable of thinking or doing anything... Continue Reading →
When I was a magazine editor, many hours were spent getting me camera-ready. A stylist provided designer clothes, a make-up artist spack-filled and blow-dried me to perfection, then a photographer took endless photos until I was happy. This was an arduous process. But, as I was the editor, everyone had to suck it up. Click, click, click, click ... Now I'm... Continue Reading →
Sprog 1 is struggling with her maths and her social skills. Neither of which are my speciality. I needed maths coaching to get through high school (it still wasn't counted in my HSC) and I was an odd-bod. I tried helping Sprog 1 with her multiplication homework last night. I wasn't very patient. It was beyond me why someone so smart couldn't understand 2 x 1 =... Continue Reading →
I am so very, very, very glad I told Husband he couldn't come on my Mum's 69th birthday celebratory cruise* to Hawaii. I banned him because he'd moan and complain and hang shit on it. Like he did when we went to Las Vegas and he christened it Sodom. Or when we stayed at the all-inclusive resort in Mexico that made him twitch... Continue Reading →
I got my highest-ever hits on the blog yesterday. I should be stoked, on top of the world. But I just feel slightly sick and lip-curly about it. Because 232 of the hits were from people searching "Whitney Houston corpse", "Whitney Houston in casket", "Whitney Houston walking skeleton" (?), "Whitney Houston sink", and one sad bugger... Continue Reading →
Catholics are burdened with guilt. I'm burdened with regrets. And guilt. All the stuff I wish I'd done differently. I wish I'd been nicer to my great-grandmother. I wish I'd seen Alex before he died. And James. I wish I hadn't kissed the boy with no front teeth. I wish I had ravaged the boy outside the bar that night. I... Continue Reading →
After hobbling around like I'd been straddling a horse for a week - too many reps on the "clacker" machine - I finally did another gym class yesterday. It was called "Sculpt" and the brochure described it as "non-impact". My sweet lord, I'm glad I didn't choose an impact one. Being uncoordinated, I've spent my adult life avoiding gym classes. But the mums assured me I didn't need to be co-ordinated for... Continue Reading →
You really don't. Sure, it makes you rich (usually). But it also makes you paranoid, insecure and self-obsessed. And, if you're really unlucky, dead. Like poor Whitney Houston, with "recreated" photos of your corpse on the cover of The National Enquirer. The Aussie weekly magazines pay tribute to Whitney today. One is even on the stands three days early. Death sells. Well it did with Steve Irwin and Belinda... Continue Reading →
I have a cavewoman's grasp of technology. Leaning more to the Neanderthal than the Homo Sapien. My brain just isn't wired that way. Lots of room for random facts and gossip, not much space for complex tasks. I've only just learned to use a scanner, at age 43. It's been a revelation. I've been madly uploading old snapshots and posting them on my Facebook wall. (Some friends are... Continue Reading →
OK, technically this is a photo of me in infants school. I went a bit manky after that and I'm too shy to share. I was the girl with plastic bobbles and ribbons in my pigtails (until I was ooooh, 15). I had freckles and a nose that "matured" before the rest of my face. I hid my bananas behind a... Continue Reading →
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