My week has been more ridiculous than Lady Gaga's gold-plated wheelchair. Here's what went down ... I reminisced about a rather colourful conversation about murder that I overheard on a jail visit in a post called "Mammoths Murder & Fuzzy Bedsocks". My mum called me this morning to tell me it was HILARIOUS. OK, she's... Continue Reading →

I'm 45 today. Forty farking five. Tomorrow I will be officially closer to 50 than 40. There's a cheery bit of news. To celebrate turning 45 I'm attending Sprog 2's first netball training session and sausage sizzle. OK, that's downplaying the day slightly - at 6pm the babysitter is arriving and Husband and I are... Continue Reading →

Let me just say right up front that I can't afford this place ... bidding is from $2.4million ... but ohhhhhhh, ohhhhhhhh AHHHHHHHH .... it's property porn with a tickler. I mean, look at it - just LOOK at it. It's bloody beautiful. The agent says: "Occupying 1,571sqm parcel of useable, north facing land on... Continue Reading →

AKA the day I wished my office had a panic room so I could lock myself in it and scream like I did when I was at Split Enz concerts as a teenager ... Confession time: I have fancied Neil Finn for 32 years. I am very loyal with my crushes. You give me goosebumps... Continue Reading →

I've had a black dog chasing me this week. My newly found twin has resigned from ivillage and I'm SAD. Well, I'm happy for her because she'll get to spend more time with her family, but I'm going to miss her. I felt like having a good, long therapeutic cry about it yesterday, without having... Continue Reading →

Working for a parenting website means I get to constantly relive all those bad/good pregnancy moments and the toddler wrangling years, find support during tween hell ... and freak out about what lies ahead in the teen twilight zone. Deep breaths, Alana, deep breaths. In my travels, I stumbled across a story on ivillage yesterday... Continue Reading →

It occurred to me this morning while my illegal roosters were er-erer-ERRing (shut up shut up SHUT UP) that there appeared to be three distinctly different calls. I peered out the family room window, praying I was wrong, and saw the runt of the litter, Amy, warbling like a champion. Nooooooo! I am screwed. There... Continue Reading →

The Household ventured into the city yesterday to see Titans Of The Ice Age at the IMAX theatre. Sprog 1 was stoked. She still remembers trying to catch 3D fish there as a toddler. And Sprog 2 has finally agreed to wear 3D glasses to 3D movies, which makes them way more enjoyable than the blurry affairs... Continue Reading →

I needn't have bothered blogging yesterday because someone in an Ellen DeGeneres online chatroom posted a link to my Late-night read: Paranoid Portia blog. I might not need to blog again for a week. Except I'm insanely, ridiculously, obsessively driven, so I will. Twice a day, like clockwork. I wonder when someone will invent Blogging... Continue Reading →