I find myself, at age 44 - not 43 as I whimsically suggested on Sunday - in need of artificial stimulants to get me through the day. Around lunchtime the weariness starts to set in. MUST. GET. DIET. COKE. Thanks to my friends, I've been subjected to enough depressing posts on Facebook to know Diet Coke isn't a healthy beverage. So... Continue Reading →

As the weekly magazines try to squeeze the last drops of sweet nectar from the TomKat divorce, judging the The Mag I Bought This Week Award gets tricky. Dare I say it, but I’m slightly fatigued by the drama. I think I’m reaching a point where I just want to see photos of Katie picking... Continue Reading →

I went to jail yesterday. With a crashing hangover. It was ace. I took a Unisom the night before. It's a great way to avoid the 2am dry horrors, because you're so dribblingly unconscious you don't notice them. You just have to hope kidney failure - or whatever mixing Unisom and alcohol might cause - doesn't set in. I'm thinking it might be... Continue Reading →

Eight-year-olds are funny, contradictory creatures. Well, mine is anyway. She reads Goosebumps books, likes vampire dolls and loves the idea of zombies, even though Dad won't let her see any movies containing them. And yet she still sleeps in Tinkerbell pyjamas and creates art installations with her soft toys at night. Who needs the Biennale when you can wake up... Continue Reading →

I remember being a primary school kid and discovering my mother was 34. I was dazzled by how old it seemed. At 18, I was in awe of the journalists in my first newsroom. Most would have only been in their mid-20s, but they seemed so mature. When I was in my early 20s, I worked with a brigade of blokes in their mid... Continue Reading →

Commencing an Alana-esque economy drive - ie one that doesn't involve any obvious downgrades to my lifestyle - I took the Sprogs to Luna Park/Fark yesterday with our yearly passes, parked in a school bus zone gratis, then enjoyed a free cafe lunch I won at the school fundraiser. Grand total expenditure, $4.50 (for the tip). Not bad huh? I looked pretty... Continue Reading →

Damn I was disappointed to be eating bacon and eggs in a Queanbeyan hotel dining room when Tom and Katie reached their divorce settlement in just 11 days. So much to blog about, so little opportunity. Instead of revelling in the news like a dog rolling on a dead seagull, I went to Questacon to be blinded by science. From 9.30am to 4pm.... Continue Reading →

My mother reckons cruise ships are the only way to travel. I tried one recently, I wasn't totally sold. A little claustrophobic. Endless days trapped at sea, waiting for your next three-course meal to be served. But what's the alternative? Flying is awful, especially on long-distance jaunts to the United States or Europe. The dry air that makes your sinuses and... Continue Reading →