The early bird catches the entrails

Every morning at 6am, I go for a walk. I see strange things on my walks - an AWOL grey bunny that's somehow avoided being eviscerated by dogs, foxes, crows; entrails strewn across the path, from a chook that hasn't avoided being eviscerated by dogs, foxes, crows (or perhaps a satanist has moved into the neighbourhood); a woman letting herself into the children's playground with her dog so he... Continue Reading →

The intellectual and the gossip

As we drove to lunch yesterday, Husband started talking about the latest book he's been reading, The Goldilocks Enigma. Apparently it's about how the universe is infinitely bigger than previously imagined, that there might be lots of other universes and how electrons work and stuff. I said "uh-huh" a lot - in what I hoped was a learned manner - but... Continue Reading →

Ewwww, gross!

Sprog 1 stayed home sick yesterday. We passed the time unconventionally. First, we watched the Orlando DVD I'd bought Husband for Fathers Day. Not technically a kiddie flick (understatement), but Sprog 1 appeared quite engrossed and refused all offers to turn it off. Then we glued together her Daily Telegraph T-rex model (quite difficult, I may revise my plan to buy... Continue Reading →

Chips on sticks

On weekends, when he's not refusing to come on mad missions, Husband is besting me in the parenting stakes. Take the one just passed. On Saturday, he made papier mache owls with the Sprogs (or more accurately, he made them with Sprog 1. Sprog 2 hoola hooped and got Daddy to finish hers). My thrilling contribution to the day was to take the... Continue Reading →

Fighting words

Husband and I are having an argument. It's been going on for weeks. I think he's being unreasonable. He thinks I'm being unreasonable. (As is the way with arguments.) So I thought I'd make a bad situation worse by telling you about it. See what you think. A lovely ex-employee of mine is holding an art exhibition in the... Continue Reading →

Happy pills

Nothing beats asking a children's pirate/magician if he can do a "zombie/pirate/magician" for putting the spring back in your step. And here I was thinking I needed happy pills. Or more exercise. Or less alcohol. Or a good shake. Something to stop me being so down on everything. It seems I just needed to do some zombie cajoling for Sprog 1's birthday party: "Shouldn't be... Continue Reading →

Not getting leid

Like Christmas, the Sprogs' birthdays are planned with military precision. Six months ago, I ordered loads of Hawaiian hula party paraphernalia for Sprog 1's party. I got invitations, lolly bags, a dangly parrot, blow-up fish as party favours ... The idea came from an ad in Sydney's Child magazine for an entertainer who does hula parties. Cool, I thought. I love Hawaii. The ad promised she'd teach the kids to... Continue Reading →

Dark places

I went for coffee with an old friend yesterday. Well, she had coffee, I had Diet Coke (don't tell the Sprogs). She's divorced, no kids. I'm not. We hadn't seen each other for three years. She arrived in a fitted T-shirt, tight jeans and red stilettos. I shuffled up in a baggy T-shirt, cargo pants and sneakers. She'd been working in the city... Continue Reading →

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