How do you feel about Zoom meetings in the age of COVID?
I think it’s awesome that we’ve realised everyone doesn’t have to be in the same room to communicate effectively.
It’s going to save companies so much money in airfares when/if our borders open.
Unfortunately, I find the way I look in Zoom meetings somewhat less awesome.
My collagen has deserted me faster than the chances of Sydney getting out of lockdown on September 30.
I spend every Zoom meeting angling my face in various directions, trying to look less saggy and old, when I should be focusing on the conversation at hand.
I just pitched for a freelance communications job and the male client asked for a five-minute Zoom meeting yesterday.
Men do not realise the effort that goes into a woman joining a five-minute Zoom meeting.
I needed to shower. I needed to wear a bra. I needed to dress in something presentable. I needed to spray paint my grey roots. I needed to apply make-up.
OK, maybe I didn’t need to, but I felt compelled by societal expectations. Whereas blokes are just letting their beards grow and getting on with it.
There are days when I’m so busy that I don’t bother changing out of my gym gear and showering until lunchtime … or the lunchtime after that.
But the Zoom meeting with my potential client was set for 9.30am. Dammit. So I got up, walked the dogs and flung myself into the shower.
My normal body wash had run out, so I grabbed something called “Stimulate-me.wash”, given to me by a friend who works at a beauty website.
I poured a generous dollop into my palm and performed an APC.
Big mistake. Huge.
I spent the next five minutes dancing around in the shower, frantically rinsing my pink bits. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!
It turns out “Stimulate-me.wash” is a “stimulating and refreshing shampoo for hair and scalp” and is not meant for lady gardens.
The ingredients in Stimulate-me.wash include camphor crystals, menthol and pepper seed oil, which don’t provide the type of stimulation you want down there.
When my crotch finally cooled, I dressed in vaguely business-like attire, applied my lippie and checked my emails for my Zoom link.
It didn’t come. The potential client changed his mind about Zooming and called me instead.
There’s 5 cents worth of lippie I could have saved for another day.
Anyways, the rest of Tuesday passed in a blur of COVID safely dropping off the eldest’s vampire teeth DT major work to school; writing about the “pink tax” for a client; and cooking up a storm in the HotHouse Kitchen – pulled beef tacos, salmon & rice bake and lamb shank massaman.
Then I made the regrettable decision to groom the moodle.
(Not another crotch convo.)
My experience correcting DD’s Dumb & Dumber cut had led me to believe I was a dab hand with electric clippers.
My dog now looks like he’s been given a prison cut by The Freak.
That was my Tuesday, how was yours?
Song of the day: Chic “Le Freak”