Like you’ve never been hurt

Stop waiting until you lose weight, until you gain weight, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink … there is no better time than right now to be happy.

Those words popped into my Facebook feed yesterday, shared by a friend via a 911 Emergency Dispatcher called Jessica La Rose.

Jessica goes on to say:

Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.

It was a lightbulb moment for me, shining onto why I think I’ve bounced back from the mire that was my life leading up to 2014.

I think I subconsciously realised in those months after my ex left that happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Perhaps my favourite part of Jessica’s post is when she says:

Work like you don’t need money,

Love like you’ve never been hurt

And dance like no-one’s watching.

OK, the “dance like no-one’s watching” bit is pretty standard. But “love like you’ve never been hurt” has been a game changer for me. Not only has it lead to my wonderful relationship with DD, but I think it’s why I can treat my ex with kindness and respect.

Loving like I’ve never been hurt means there’s a sweet fullness in my heart that isn’t tainted by bitterness.

So many people hold onto the bad stuff. And not just with their ex-partners. I was shocked to learn recently that someone from my distant past still nurtures a grudge towards me and enjoys the idea of inflicting further pain.

This is someone who I haven’t seen for many years. Some really bad juju went down between us. She played a role in my emotional health coming asunder, along with my career and marriage. I’d have thought I’d have paid a high enough price to satisfy her.

But no.

I’ve pulled myself pretty much back together from those dark days. I love my new life and, ironically, I wouldn’t have it without the part she played in the destruction of my old one.

I wonder sometimes if she reads my blog – there are a few people following me for the wrong reasons. If she’s one of them, I wish she’d move on. It’s over, find joy, be a good person, live a good life.

That’s what I’m trying to do.

I worry about the people who can’t let it go, because they’re not truly enjoying their journey and you only get one shot at this life.

I’ve decided to make mine a strong flat white with full-cream milk and some sugar.

How about you?

Song of the day: The Fray “How to save a life”

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