That wouldn’t be too hard, though – I’ve had some shockers in my time.

There was the date at the French restaurant where the woman at the next table kept screeching with outrage about the food being “f@#king raw’ all the way through dinner. So romantic.

Then there was Valentine’s Day 2014, when my husband got the keys to his bachelor pad after announcing three days earlier that he was leaving me. Break out the violins and long-stemmed roses.

Oh, and then there was the time I miscarried my Mirena. (I possibly didn’t explain what a Mirena was properly in the post, leading some sheltered souls to think I’d been with child. It’s a plastic anchor-shaped thing that was in my uterus to mitigate my lady plumbing problems and it came out rather messily.)

So, really, Valentine’s Day 2018 hasn’t been too shabby.

It didn’t involve chocolate because I’m still recovering from buying a pair of size 14 shorts at Kmart without trying them on … thinking they’d be all loose and comfy … and discovering I could barely do them up.

So I’m on a diet.

No sugar has passed my lips for a whole 24 hours.

The only kisses that passed my lips were placed on the fevered brow of the eldest, who was recovering from a virus.

The youngest offered to cook a romantic dinner for DD and I, except DD was on the other side of the world. He spent last night en route from Barcelona to London to begin his flight home after our longest separation since we started dating three and a half years ago.

He’s beginning to take on mythical qualities.

Speaking of DD – he sent a text yesterday morning that said “Happy VD” … which sounds like he was wishing a sexually transmitted disease upon me.

Then he headed out to a mojito bar, where he ordered a blueberry and raspberry mojito because it was a “VD colour”.

He sent me a picture of it and joked that he also chose it because it was “mushy”. Ho, ho, ho.

(DD isn’t personally mushy, a photo of a mushy cocktail is about his limit.)

Last night, I made the kids dinner, took the dogs for a walk, packed the dishwasher and called my mum.

The evening ended with me sipping a glass of warm red as I flicked through Facebook in the sweltering heat that Sydney served up yesterday – 37 farking degrees! Hideous. Totally unromantic.

Well, to be honest, I’ve never really been that into VD Day – not being the flowers and grand gestures type. But bless everyone who wished their partners Happy Valentine’s Day in my news feed and posted photos of their celebrations.

That was my Valentine’s Day. How was yours?

Song of the day: Elvis “Can’t Help Falling In Love”