Welcome to post 1001 from HouseGoesHome (then goes back to work)! I should have been celebrating with the last one, but my 1000th post was a gossip blather. Didn’t seem quite right. 1001 posts – can you believe it? Probably, going on the clutter I’ve created in your inbox, Facebook feed etc. Ah well- woo! […]

We had parent-teacher meetings last week, where it was suggested my kids spend more time on the computer. This was a tricky one because I’d prefer them to spend less. Their current exposure is limited to the occasional session of Mathletics or Literacy Planet. And, while they wait for each other to start/finish their swimming […]

You know how kids are constantly complaining about sore tummies and sore feet and sore heads until it becomes white noise? Well … I’m feeling really crap about my mothering skills right now because I ignored the little girl who cried wolf – AKA Sprog 2 – when she was genuinely, nastily ill. On the […]

My youngest has been obsessed with fashion from a very early age. At age two, she sat on my suede mocassins and refused to let me wear them because they looked like “Pop’s shoes”. This was pronounced with preternatural decisiveness. Conversely, if I wear something new – that gets her thumb’s up – she always […]

How farking hot was it yesterday? Did you hide inside with air-con or swelter outdoors? I spent several hours under the corrugated iron roof of Central Station with the mentally ill, the homeless, the elderly travellers, the denim-shorted-with-their-butt-cheeks-dangling Big Day Out attendees and a few dozen anxious parents wondering where the bloody hell their children – […]

While Husband was sitting with Sprog 1 at the medical centre on Sunday night, holding her head together, he sent me an SMS: HUSBAND: Sprog 1 wanted to say hello and tell you she was feeling ok I was busy recording the medical emergency for the blog and missed the next SMS, which followed in quick succession and read: HUSBAND: Rexicoricofalapatorius […]

It’s come to my attention that mothers are threatening children with my blog recipes, ie mummy snaps: ”If you keep complaining about your dinner, I’ll give you what the Sprogs are having – lamb korma curry with roti bread.” Then they read out the ingredients as their children wail: “Noooo, Mummy, stop! That sounds disgusting! Stop, stop!” Which is not entirely what […]

Sprog 1 is struggling with her maths and her social skills. Neither of which are my speciality. I needed maths coaching to get through high school (it still wasn’t counted in my HSC) and I was an odd-bod. I tried helping Sprog 1 with her multiplication homework last night. I wasn’t very patient. It was beyond me why someone so smart couldn’t understand 2 x 1 = […]

After spending 500 gazillion hours on the internet, Googling “kids disco party” and goggling at paying Holly Hip Hop $310 for 90 minutes of jiggling and glitter tattoos, I’ve decided to kit Husband in only-gay-in-the-village attire and make him teach 16 six-year-old girls the Macarena and Time Warp instead. It’s probably the last time we can act as DIY party entertainers without totally mortifying Sprog 2 - and we come super-cheap – so we might as well […]

I am a marketing department’s wet dream. Give me 20 years and I’ll be the crazy old lady with a house full of Franklin Mint porcelain dolls and plate. My latest collector madness has me alterately jogging or trudging to the newsagent at 6.30am every morning for the David-Attenborough-DVD-a-day offer from the Daily Telegraph. I must get […]