They say time heals all wounds. So how come it hurts that I forgot my grandmother’s birthday yesterday. My mum had to text and remind me. My Nan passed away in 2010. Whenever something big or exciting or annoying or unpleasant happens in my life, I still reach for the phone to call her. Her […]

“What’s done is done.”  William Shakespeare “Every second that you live you are never going to get back. You are never going to get to change what you said, didn’t say, did, or didn’t do. Live how you want to live. Act how you want to be remembered, because you never know how long or […]

We had dinner at a neighbour’s house last night. Sprog 1 stayed for a sleepover. I’m going to pick her up now. I’ve baked ginger beer muffins to take as a peace offering, because I shamed myself at dinner. I still can’t bear to talk about it. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, these muffins are […]

I think I’m becoming a ”woman of a certain age”. I’ve been admiring “woman of a certain age” boutiques. There’s one in every middle-class shopping strip. They’re filled with scented candles, chunky jewellery and vaguely ethnic fashions. I gaze at the dresses in the window and think “ooooh, what a gorgeous colour!” and “my, such lovely embroidery!”. I fantasise about trying things on. I imagine how casually elegant I’d look. But I […]

Husband was up late on Monday night trying to rescue our hard-drive. (It’s dead Jim. Choking sob.) So he forgot about driving Sprog 1 to band practice yesterday morning – his job – and slept in. No problem, I said, I’ll take her. Somehow I forgot all the other school mums and dads would be […]

The Not So Neighbourly Neighbours have been at it again for the past two Saturday nights. Blasting doof-doof music, lots of loud “woos” and “drink it down, down, downs”. Heaps of laughter and general merriment that makes me so cross I want to scream. How dare they have fun in suburbia? Don’t they know middle-aged folk […]

Catholics are burdened with guilt. I’m burdened with regrets. And guilt. All the stuff I wish I’d done differently. I wish I’d been nicer to my great-grandmother. I wish I’d seen Alex before he died. And James. I wish I hadn’t kissed the boy with no front teeth. I wish I had ravaged the boy outside the bar that night. I […]

You know you’re in trouble when you’re slooshing down your Panamax with a glass of champagne at 4pm … I am sooooooo not good at drinking alcohol during daylight hours. Oh, it’s a blast at the time, but come evening I’m a bleary mess. So, I arrived home from a luncheon yesterday a little over-sauced. […]

Friends have a five-year-old son with waaaaay too much energy. He makes Sprog 2 look listless. I had dinner at their place the other night and chuckled at their utensils drawer: tongs, mixing spoons, knives … and a wide selection of handballs. Because you never want to find yourself handball-less with that little tornado. His need to be in constant motion […]