There’s this clever little trick my subconcious plays when I pork up. It doesn’t announce none of your clothes fit you Alana, you’re getting fat … no, it simply decides everything in my wardrobe is terribly unfashionable. Short skirts are so last year, no-one wears fitted tops any more and it’s way too hot for denim …
It insists long, flowing tops are the hot new thing. It berates me for not having more of them when they’re so fabulous. The same goes for leggings and elasticised skirts – much more stylish than fitted pants.
Other little subterfuges are decreeing that sleeveless tops are a skin-cancer risk, XL T-shirts drape better and voluminous beach cover-ups are tres cool.
I was totally believing my own PR until Husband showed me our Christmas holiday snaps. That’s when my brain stepped in, gave my subconcious a sharp slap and accused it of totally lost the plot because even a blind man could see I’m starting to look like a sumo wrestler and SOMETHING MUST BE DONE.
No more Vegemite turkish toast for breakfast, no more chicken caesar wraps for lunch, no more party pies for afternoon tea, no more cheesy pasta for dinner, no more booze. Well, maybe a little bit of booze.
(When I was at Dan Murphy’s the other day, I briefly considered switching to vodka as a diet tool … before suggesting to myself that cutting back rather than considering lower calorie options might be a healthier choice.)
But school holidays are just too hard for that sort of restraint. The Sprogs are constantly sniffing around for food … when they’re not bickering … getting to the gym feels like mission impossible … and wine o’clock verges on medicinal.
So I’m thinking Feb Fast has a nice ring to it.
HOW ABOUT YOU? DO YOU FIND IT HARD TO EAT SENSIBLY AND EXERCISE REGULARLY IN THE SCHOOL HOLS?